12/30/08

I'm just a couple of days away from a new year. I'm not sure how I feel about it. Part of me is super excited to put up a new calendar. Ready to make my list of new things I want to accomplish this next year. I'm anxious to pick my self up from a hard year. I'm ready to walk every day. Ready to home school with a fresh attitude. I'm ready to write.

Yet I'm still here. My heart feels torn between wanting to get up and go and sit here and stay. I can feel the battle in my spirit.

I see my Heavenly Father holding His mighty right hand out to me yet I can feel the breath of Satan against my ear as he whispers lies.

I simply can not ignore the lies of the enemy. It won't make him go away.

I need to read God's word. I need to spend time in His presence. I need to stand up. I need to put one foot in front of the other. I need to reach out and take hold of God.

Only then can the words of death not be heard.

This new year for me isn't about my plans. This year is about truly glorifying Christ. It's going to be about digging deeper, going farther.

I'm still going to make my lists like exercise, home school, ministry outside of the home, things like that but instead of thinking that He gave me those ideas I'm going to ask Him. I know He wants me to care for this temple I have. I know He has called our family to homeschooling. I know He has placed a desire to write in my spirit. What I don't necessarily know is how He wants me to do it. When to go ahead and when to stop. I'm not sure how my days should look.

So I will sit with Him in prayer and worship. I will rest, ask and then I will listen.