The Potter's Clay

Ramblings

2012-01-18T21:02:00.002-05:00

O.K. so here I am trying to get back into writing here consistently. Ugh, that word ... Consistent ... maybe that should have been my word for 2012. It seems to be popping up everywhere. I think that it does go hand in hand with discipline.

Anyway - I have started school. I'm going for Human Sciences. I am very excited. My first and only class right now is English 111. I've decided to start off slow. I really don't want to scare myself. Ha-ha. Summer I will be taking that silly mandatory "Welcome to College" course. One credit, probably for one Saturday. Then, come the Fall, I'm planning on taking a bit more credits. My goal is to use all my FASFA and apply for scholarships. Of course there is always student loans. Which I am trying to avoid as long as possible. However, I'm not too worried about receiving a loan. It's for my future as well as the boys. If it helps me go to school for more credits per semester and not have to work 40+ hours a week then it would be worth it. One desire of my heart is not to take away a huge chunk of time away from Matt, David and Ryan. They still need their mother.

Speaking of mothering ... Matt will be 14 this Saturday. Hard to believe in some ways. I remember the day he was born. I remember his room wasn't ready when I was checked into the hospital for preeclampsia. I was upset because we hadn't washed anything. The crib wasn't put together. Nothing was prepared. My amazing friends - Tina, Sarah, J.P. and Nathen took care of everything for us. I was able to deliver Matt on a Wednesday worry free ... well, at least about that!

Over the past 14 years with Matt has been an absolute joy! He is my first. I remember walking him in an umbrella stroller around and around house. I remember when he started biting. Boy did he think that was fun. I remember the pounding on the door from the police because he has dialed 911 and then left the phone off the hook. How could I forget the one day when he was about 22 months old - David was about 4 months. We were running errands, on Greenbrier Parkway (a busy main street) - out from the back of the Dodge Neon I hear "Mama, David coughing - I gave him a penny to keep - he ate it" Yes, that was me back in 1999 on the side of the road shoving my finger down David's throat all along assuring Matt he wasn't in trouble but please don't give David anything that you haven't asked Mommy about!

Thinking back there are just so many memories. First steps, first words, first day of school. You all have those too. I guess I'm just feeling a little ... nostalgic ... I was such a weird mom, I think. I gave him, well all my boys, highly diluted catnip tea in bottles starting at one week old. Never had colic. My boys never wore shoes until they started walking. They always wore hats that covered their ears on any cool day/evening through out the year. I dressed them as I was dressed. If I was chilly we all wore a sweatshirt or blanket. If I wasn't - they didn't. They were never sick as real, little guys. Well, once David developed Whooping Cough when he was about 18 months. Oh, and I never baby-proofed my home nor did I ever expect any of our friends to baby proof theirs.

It's hard to believe that Matt will be in High School next school year. He is applying for the Tech Academy. Whether he gets in or not, the skies the limit for him. It was just 10 years ago he was playing with index cards on the kitchen floor. Twelve years ago he was reading to his little brother. Nine years ago he was teaching his baby brother animal sounds. He's been a missionary when he grows up to a Navy Pilot to a K9 officer, not to mention owning his own company during it all :)

He is getting taller. Just a bit taller then me. He wears a size 10 in men's! He is just about able to buy men size jeans. He's been in men's shirts for about a year. Just so big! I remember thinking that the 0-3 months were big~ considering he was 4 weeks early, weighing in at 5lbs 8oz and 18.5" long. My favorite thing to do was swaddle Matt and just hold him. How could I have something so beautiful, sweet, and pure? If God never blessed me again from that day forward ... Matt was enough.

But He didn't stop there :) Two more blessings followed and my life has never been the same. Not that I want it to be. Those three boys ... young men are a true treasure and delight. Yes, my house is messy from time to time. You bet it's loud "up in here!" A bit disorganized and down right rude but those are my youngins. Men and warriors that God has entrusted me with. It's a big job and thank You Jesus, You are a big God, cause it's hard some days. I loose my way, I fall, make mistakes .... ah yes, that word again consistency ... I'm learning ... I'm learning.

Being a single mom hasn't been as traumatic as I first thought. I think my most difficult part is the lack of back up. I'm "walking this beat" alone, physically speaking. I have no one to take over when I have lost my temper or my ability to speak in such a way that they understand. Probably though, if I stopped yelling, nagging or whining ... they might understand ... just kidding, sorta. There is no one there for that immediate head nod that assures me my assessment is correct. No father figure is there that has that silent look that says "this is your mother speaking to you and you will ... " but I have the Holy Spirit which is more then enough!! He gives me the wisdom and discernment I need. Not to mention on the really hard days - He gives me comfort. The Trinity is teaching me all about discipline and .... being consistent. I'm in school on so many levels ... LOL

O.K. - I do believe it's time to stop rambling. My heart is full of gratitude for my God and my sons. He has given me such amazing blessings. From the boys to great friends. A nice, warm roof over our heads to a great job. Yummy food in our bellies to clothes on our backs. My God is my Rock and Refuge -

I want to share one more thing before I end this ... It's my all time favorite Psalm ...

Psalm 16

¹ Keep me safe, my God,
for in you I take refuge.

² I say to the LORD, “You are my Lord;
apart from you I have no good thing.”

³ I say of the holy people who are in the land,
“They are the noble ones in whom is all my delight.”

⁴ Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more.
I will not pour out libations of blood to such gods
or take up their names on my lips.

⁵ LORD, you alone are my portion and my cup;
you make my lot secure.

⁶ The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance.

⁷ I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.

⁸ I keep my eyes always on the LORD.
With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

⁹ Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will rest secure,

¹⁰ because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead,
nor will you let your faithful one see decay.

¹¹ You make known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Be ever-so-blessed my friends!!

Discipline

2012-01-03T20:50:00.003-05:00

This is my word for 2012. Kind of a big word but hey, I have a big God. I read this article Choosing Words To Live By I was immediately struck by it. It didn't take me long to figure out what word God would have me study.

DISCIPLINE

There are so many reasons this word is important for 2012. One being that I am being called to be more disciplined in my daily walk with Christ. I am saddened by how I have chosen other things to fill my time. God is so kind and patient with me. He never pushes Himself on me. I can just sense His presence ... the still, quietness of His voice beckoning me to spend time with Him.

I want to, I want to wake up in the morning and give Him my best. I want to gain insight and direction. The thought of sipping a cup of coffee while praying, listening seems so ... right.

Yet, there I am ... rushing around the house. I'm trying to get my shower, kids up, cats fed, you name it. I'm doing just about everything else but resting in Him. I often wondered how much better my day would go if I just took 10 minutes, first thing in the morning to be with God.

My spirit knows the answer. So does Satan.

Anyway - coming back to the basis of this post .... I am on a quest to discover DISCIPLINE.

2011-08-18T20:57:00.003-04:00

It has been a long time since I have been here ... Here meaning not just on this blog but in this state of spiritual weakness.

When my husband left I immediately ran to Christ. I don't think I have ever been stronger, spiritually speaking, as that year or so. I laid before God on behalf of myself, Bo, the boys, his girlfriend, her family and our friends (they just about struggled with it as much as the boys and I did!) It seemed like I never left that prostrate position! I prayed literally like we are told, without ceasing, for healing, forgiveness, mercy, grace, and for God to move in such a powerful way in our lives. I didn't care how He did it or what it looked like.

God in His mercy did move. He did bring much healing and the like into the boys and my life. Is there still work to be done? You bet. It seems now that those prayers that were prayed with such a heavy heart and much tears have now moved into declaration prayers. I see God moving all the time. The only difference is that He has called me to take a more active part in the answers. May He be glorified! See before, He knew all I had to offer Him was a quiet Yes. Now He knows I can offer a Yes, Amen and I will!

What a difference two years make!

God brought me about six months ago to a place of rest. It has been glorious, truly. Around the Holiday Season of 2010 my heart was released from my marriage. I had fought hard. Not in worldly ways but on my knees in total surrender to my King. I had defeated by God's grace the Enemy that had come to kill, steal and destroy me. Like I said - after that hard fight God allowed a season of rest.

In this season of rest I don't think I have laughed any harder at any other time in my life. I have reconnected with some great friends. Went on two vacations, one with my precious boys and one on my own. I have continued to get healthy which has resulting in my now total weight loss of 41 pounds! I continue to be blessed beyond measure. I am humbled by this amazing season.

Here we are coming up to the Fall. A new season. I can see the Enemy's army on the horizon. I can hear him conspiring with his demons. I know what Satan's end time goal is for me and my sons. The Bible is clear in John 10:10, he comes to steal, kill and destroy (paraphrase mine). Well, all I can say is that I am sharpening my sword and being fitted with my armor (Ephesians 6:10-17)

I'm not saying that my knees won't knock from time to time. I'm not saying that I won't find myself questioning whether or not I can handle things. I know my knees will and I will question my ability but what I won't do is question God's ability. I will be like David - declaring before each battle "You come against me with the sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty" (1 Samuel 17:45)

Isaiah 40:11

2011-03-13T19:01:00.003-04:00

Here is a verse that has been so precious to me especially over the last three or four years. It's from the Book of Isaiah.

Isaiah 40:11
"He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart, he gently leads those that have young."

Are you someone who has young? Are you someone who needs to be lead? How about just needing to be gathered in God's arms and held close to His chest?

If you are like me you are saying "Yes, yes and Amen." It is no secret that when you have a child you need someone to guide you. It's not just the big stuff, although that is important. It seems to be the little stuff. We all know we need to teach our children not to lie, steal or murder. As christian it goes deeper like harboring anger, unforgiving, omitting things and the like. However there are little things like opening doors for people. Speaking with a kindness. Having patience with other people (especially your younger siblings) that we should be focusing on.

Even with all that said we need someone to guide us when dealing with our children's hearts. I have three sons with three different personalities. I rely on Christ daily to show me to reach them. I have one boy who is cautious of sharing things. He seems to think that his opinion doesn't matter. He bottles things in and becomes emotional over everything. My other boy is always fine. Nothing bothers him, everything is cool. However he becomes sullen and withdrawn. Then there is my other guy. He lashes out at everyone for anything. Always on the attack, not wanting to compromise or hear someone's side. I find myself, when not relying on Christ's wisdom, always treating symptoms never the cause.

As parents we have to always be looking for the root, the heart of our children. It's O.K. to give your child some space but don't let distance come between you and them. Seek God, He will lead you. He will give you wisdom. God created those little ones, perfectly and without flaw.

The other meaning I receive from that verse is that I can fall into His arms when I am tired and overwhelmed. He guides me, leads me on how to raise my children. He comforts me. He is my Shepherd. A shepherd knows his flock. He tends to their daily needs. The shepherd protects his flock. A shepherd watches over, looking out for dangers. Just like our Lord.

Are you resting in the arms of your Shepherd? I am and there is no great place to be.

Spring is in the air!

2011-03-02T16:49:00.002-05:00

I am sitting here enjoying the beautiful breeze coming through my bedroom window. I can hear the sounds of laughter from all the kids, mine included, from the neighborhood. The house is fairly straight. Work, my outside work, is done for the day. Checked on my farm :) Gotta love Facebook.

Right now I am just so encourage by Spring. The concept of Spring. The newness of Spring. Fresh starts and new beginnings. Last spring I was hopeful of this relaxed spirit but I didn't quite have it. I knew one day I would.

Last year this time I was more in the mode of putting one foot in front of the other. Head down, doing this thang. Being there for the boys. Making ends meet. Living day in and day out.

This year I am overwhelmed with the possibilities. The boys and I are happy. Things are well with our soul. Christ does truly make all things new.

I do not know the future but I do know the One who holds the future!

As I'm writing this and ice cream truck is driving through my neighborhood. Matt hollers from his room "You know it's Spring when the Ice Cream Truck comes around!" Very, very true.

Is God sounding the ice cream truck in your life?

54488-210-186CCA4F019F1942B31FCAAA427A1396

life ... and other stuff

2011-01-20T21:12:00.003-05:00

Right now I am sitting with my youngest at my feet. He is an amazing 9 year old boy. He is doing his project which is due tomorrow. I'm answering questions as I search the web. My oldest son will be 13 tomorrow. THIRTEEN! Crazy. He, too, is wrapping up homework so I am answering questions as I search the web. My middle dude is making a bed-time snack as I search the web (hee hee)

I am truly blessed.

I have been working at my place of employment for a year now. It has truly blessed me. I enjoy everyone I work with. We are like a family. Every day I am still excited to go to work.

The boys are doing really well in school. Honor Roll, all three. I've been able to have lunch with Ry a few times. Which is always so fun. Once work settles down a bit, I've been working over time since my office manager has been out, I'm going to take M and D out for lunch. It's so important to stay connected with each one. We've never been the sit-at-the-kitchen-table-eating-dinner kind of family. Now, sitting around the coffee table watching Biggest Loser ... yeah that is more like us. So I am making time. Whether it's just two of us heading up to WaWa for some gas or taking a minute in the hall way to say "Hey, you are awesome. How was your day?"

For months I have said in the morning "Have a great day. I will see you when I get off work. I love you." The usual response has been "K. Love you too." Just this week I have been so surprised by my three sons. Ry, who leaves before I usually do, turned around in the driveway and said "Do you work today?" Me- "Yes" Ry -" Then you have a great day too!" Wow! Then, D said to me "OK Mom. I love you too and have a great day at work today." Neat! The next thing I know M texts me with "Love you too Mom. Have a great day!" It is just sooo nice :)

There are still moments. M seems the most angry. But, with God's grace, we are getting through it. M and D seem to have lost an interest in God. I know I didn't help. I allowed Fellowship to go onto the back burner. I still read, I still studied and Lord knows, I still prayed but I didn't make sure our bottoms were at church every Sunday. I know my kids are disappointed with God. With His help and mercy things will change.

I've been reading the Bible with Ry. He is excited about his relationship with Christ. This has gotten D asking questions. This weekend we are heading back to church. I started going back a few weeks ago but between the flu and Dad having the boys every other weekend ... this is the first weekend everyone will be feeling good and home. I bought a little 100 day devotional for teens. M and I talked about it and we, the four of us, are going to sit down every Wednesday and read one. I'm looking forward to it. Who knows what I am going to learn :)

I get all teary eyed thinking about my boys and my life now. They are such troopers.

There is still some pain left for me. Some days I look at my husband and ache to be back with him. Then there are days when I am O.K. that we are not together. I would say that I am more at peace then at pain. God truly is the Healer. I know He is healing my children. I am getting over the whole "This isn't what I wanted ... " thing. No, it's not what I wanted but it is what I have and it is good.

I have learned that God is a lamp unto my feet. I have learned not to look to forward down the path. I only have so much light and I'm using that light wisely. I'm looking at Christ's face. I'm looking at my kids. I'm looking at just the here and now.

I do have some goals that are a little further out. Like I am going to go to college. I will probably start this summer. I'm going to be busting my butt in 2011 to pay off all debt so that some time in 2012 I can buy a house. I plan on getting into a routine of exercising and continue to loose weight. But that is about as far as I have gotten. Which is pretty good if I do say so myself.

Life is a precious gift ... God is good ... Children are a gift from the Lord ... Love waits ... Friends pray ... Hearts hurt ... Joy cometh ... I still smile and laugh ...

I am truly amazed at how far things have come in the past year or so. Do I still hurt? You bet but it's further and farther between. God heals and His peace comes. The Holy Spirit is the Comforter.

God, You are good and Your mercies endure forever!

Sharing something personal ...

2010-11-25T16:35:00.002-05:00

I'm going to share two entries from my journal. I never intended to do this but I felt the Lord nudge me into doing this. I trust Him. I never really had a journal. Well, I did when I was about 13 but nothing serious. I never wanted to put my thoughts on paper like that. I had every intention of burning this journal when I was done. No reason why ... just didn't want it hanging around. However I know that this journal is important to me and more importantly, perhaps to others. This past year or so has been an amazing journey ... here is the first and second entry.

Today is February 4, 2010. Today I am angry. I know that I won't always be angry. Honestly for the most part I'm not angry. My world feels like it is crashing in on me. I'd love to back track and get you up to speed - but I won't. Today I can't relive the horror. Tonight I'm alone. The boys are making cookies. Bo - the love of my life is somewhere, with maybe someone else. Bo has chosen to leave me. To end our marriage. It's killing me. I'm not sure even why it hurts so bad. I guess I really do love him. I guess he was the only one, besides my precious boys, to get under my skin, deep into my heart. I know how hard our marriage has been. But honestly it wasn't all bad. I am sensing God leading me into the gray. I don't like the gray. There is security in the black and white. Bo said tonight that I'm treating this as do or die. That's how I feel. I wish I could relax as he said. Lord - I am trusting You but I know that doesn't mean I won't hurt. How do I get past this? Tina says time. I want quick fixes and I don't want to wait for time. Am I really trusting? Lord - I love my husband. I love Bo deeply. It hurts and I am sad ... I know a big part of my problem is the push back from Satan. I pray without wavering and then my heart and mind go nuts. That needs to stop, in the Name of Jesus. Hebrews 10:35, 36 Romans 8:9-11 So do not throw away your confidence, it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.

February 5
Today I feel empowered. Not empowered by my ability in any situation but empowered by His Spirit. I will not put human conditions on God. He is faithful, He is true. His burden is light and His yoke is easy. He is my God. I server Him out of love.

Here I am

2010-09-18T20:42:00.003-04:00

This past year has been long. I have done a lot of growing and some changing for the better. Somethings haven't changed but I've realized that those things are good things. I'm actually celebrating those things.

I've learned a lot about myself since my marriage fell apart. Well, I guess maybe that isn't accurate. I ... rediscovered a lot about myself.

I am making plans for my future and the future of my sons. It is surprising not as hard as I would have initially thought. I guess it's because Bo and I were never really on the same page so now I don't have to pretend or reason or set aside anything. There is my house and his house. My rules and expectations and then there are his. My prayer is that the boys will understand the difference and be able to make the wise decisions they will have to make.

I know it's a bit confusing for the boys. My oldest, Matt, said to me one time that he didn't know what to do. Go by my standards like love and serve the Lord or by dad's which is to live in the world and please yourself. I told him that for now it seemed a when in Rome thing. But that one day he will have to make a choice as to which person he would want to be.

It's tough but life is tough sometimes. It is what we do with the tough. It's about who do we trust with the tough. I choose God. Without fail and without reservation.

I still love my husband. I've tucked my heart away so I no longer am in love with him. I hurt for him. I hurt for our sons and for me. However each day gets better. I'm finding that each day that I wake up with confidence in my relationship with Jesus, myself and my ability to love my sons and be a single mom.

I never pictured my life this way. Raising three boys living with my mom. It's okay. We're working it out. I thought that Bo and I would be together forever, good or bad. It's okay. I'm okay. I'm better then okay. I'm actually good. Which in some weird way is sad to me.

We can petition our divorce in less than 4 months. I must say it feels like forever!

Our boys are doing good. We had to move again. Which upset the boys but this house is the healing house. My one piece of advice for anyone going through a separation and divorce is this ... If you have to move pick a place that you can sign a 6 month lease. You will need a dumping house. A house where there are many tears. Many fights. Many long nights.

Then ... you move into your healing house. Trust me, there is more laughing in this house. More quiet evenings. More joy!

The house we lived in when it all fell apart was a hard house too. It first began as a fresh start house. I believed that Bo and I were finally going to be financially free. I actually thought that we were going to be more in love and committed. Boy did I miss the boat on that. LOL Anyway, that house became a house of horrors. Days filled with tears and pain hidden from my sons. Nights filled with deep agony. I remember sitting all night on the phone with one of my girls (shout out to Sarah, Tina and Bree!). I would literally fall asleep in a lawn chair on my driveway wondering if my husband was going to come home. I remember lying to the boys that Daddy came home after they went to bed but had to be back at work before they got up. That is some tough stuff. I remember waking up vomiting on myself.

It was an incredible rough time in my life.

Nothing to date compares.

I'm not sure why I'm writing or my reason behind it. I guess it's just this time of year. August/September marks a year ... a whole year ...

Writing here to you all is perhaps therapeutic. I'm making it. Only that last paragraph did any tears come to my eyes. But to God's amazing glory the pain isn't there. There is a bit of sadness but not that deep, gut wrenching pain that takes your breath away. You know? The kind that makes you double up in pain. It's more a sadness that my family had to endure this then anything.

God is good and He is sooo faithful. Christ is my Savior and the Holy Spirit is my comforter. To HIM be all the glory!

checking in ...

2010-06-25T20:48:00.002-04:00

I have been terrible at updating this blog. I remember when I first started writing here ... I was so full of excitement. Couldn't wait to share all that the Lord was teaching me. Couldn't wait to pass on some nuggets of gold that I had found. For awhile I was doing very well. Then, well, life happens.

The past year has been extremely difficult to say the least. Actually I would have to say that it started back in 2007. But true to God's fashion He did not allow everything to hit me all at once. There were signs, nudges and a few tugs on my spirit. I did heed most of them but true to my fashion, not exactly as He would have probably wanted me to.

My world was rocked at the end of 09. Rocked is perhaps to simple of a word, to nice of a word.

Shattered. Blown up. Torn apart. Smashed to pieces.

Yea, that is more like it.

Let me tell you though ... I am still standing. Still a tough cookie. Still true to God. Still true to my convictions. Still a really great mom. Still a beautiful woman.

So what happened? Good question. Well, I will give you the short version. After 12 years of marriage and three amazing sons my husband left. He fell in love with another woman.

It's O.K. take your time and re-read it.

Now you won't find me bashing him on here. We all fall short of the Glory of God. He walked away from God long before he walked away from me. Glory to God he has not walked away from our sons. He is trying to do the right thing, of course it is what the world thinks is right but nonetheless ...

What got me through it (not that I am completely through it)? Breaking my knees getting to God's throne. It was as simple (and hard) as that. I ran to Christ naked and unashamed. Totally humbled. Totally surrendered. No expectations except that He would not let me literally die from the pain.

Let me tell you something girls and guys ... I never ever felt abandoned by God. There were nights I woke up vomiting. Days where I didn't eat and nearly passed out. Days where I would cry and cry and cry. Days when I couldn't speak.

God really sustained me and the boys. They had no real idea anything was going on. They knew Daddy wasn't coming home until after they went to bed and left before they woke up. Which was true but on some nights he didn't come home at all.

I continued to home school. We did take a lot of breaks. The kids didn't mind. :) I would use those times to lay on the floor in my room or bathroom and sob my eyes out. Some times I called prayer counselors. Then I would pick myself up and continue on.

I will have to leave the journey there for now. Life calls ...

I will write more later.

2 Corinthians 4

2010-04-11T22:02:00.004-04:00

Tonight something happened. It should have rocked my world. It should have dropped me to my knees. I think one of the reasons it didn't is because I have never been so close to God in all my life. God prepared me for this event tonight. I didn't really understand last night when He spoke to my spirit but nonetheless I took it to Him, confident that He would reveal in time. Confident that He would sustain me in time.

To His glory alone He did. Then tonight when "it" hit. God mercifully brought me to ...

2 Corinthians 4
1Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. 2Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. 3And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. 4The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. 5For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. 6For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness,"made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.
7But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. 12So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
13It is written: "I believed; therefore I have spoken."With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, 14because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. 15All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.
16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

(Bold and Italics are mine)

God is my strength and shield. I love Him more and more each day, each moment.

Hello there

2010-04-05T20:49:00.003-04:00

I feel the need to write but not really sure what to say. I don't want to ramble on about nothing. I want to share something meaningful, something important. So I'm just going to share what comes to mind, share with where I am ...

I have never been more hurt yet healed.

I have never been more rejected yet chosen.

I have never failed so much yet am victorious.

Man has hurt me and rejected me. Man has failed me and I have failed Man. Yet, God is healing me. God has chosen me and because He lives in me, I am more then a conqueror!

One thing I am learning is that God truly is a Lamp unto our feet. He does not shine the sun on our path. I think this is the case because if I could see the whole path I would run ahead of Him. I know I would. I'd leave Him in the dust. So that is why I only have this much light. So that every footstep is dependent on Him.

Sometimes I entertain fear. Sometimes I wonder. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I am angry. But in all times I count it joy.

For this black and white girl I am learning to embrace the gray.
This tough as nails girl is learning how to cry.

It's not always easy to be here but I know I am where I need to be.

I'm back

2010-03-03T09:32:00.002-05:00

I know it has been so long since I have posted anything. Some of it has been Facebook. It seems easier to post a little one liner then share my thoughts here.

I have been through so much the past few months. I don't want to share right now, at least not all of it. I will share this ...

The boys are in school and boy is was it like ducks to water. I give shouts of Glory all day long to Christ! I have a job. I'm a receptionist at a veterinary hospital. I love it. Again another reason to shout some Glory.

God has really been cleaning me up. I feel like we are on over drive. Amen? It's not just me. I've shared my struggles with some people and it seems that God is moving in so many areas, so quickly with just one person. One friend said to me that she knows God is moving in everyone lives and that she senses that He is sifting right now. Getting us, Christians and Non, our country and the world, ready for His return. I pray so.

My heart has never been so broken then it is right now BUT my heart has NEVER been more tended to. That is the miracle! It's not that I don't hurt, that is not the miracle. It's KNOWING and FEELING that I am in the cleft of the Rock. That He is still on His throne. The miracle is doing what I didn't think I could do. Knowing what I didn't think I could know. Being who I didn't think I could be.

God is merciful, kind, loving and gentle. He is my all. He provides. He redeems. He sustains. He protects. He is my joy, my comfort and my Lord.

Well, I just moved this past weekend. So I should be getting off here and unpack.

If you think about me and my family please keep us in prayer. There is power in prayer, it works.

Here are some basic requests you could lift up:
Get the house organized and settled
Unity among my boys
Clear thinking
Provision for all things
Science projects that are due at the end of March :)
Band project that is due at the end of March :)
Peace and Joy in my home
For my sons to feel God's love and presence in their hearts.

Thank you all! Please let me know if I can pray for you. If you have a private matter we'll figure out a way to exchange emails. Other wise you can leave a general comment. God knows your need - I don't have to know :)

Square peg in a round hole

2009-11-03T14:07:00.003-05:00

So here I find myself, like I do every year, wondering what is wrong with me. Why can't I seem to love a very simple schedule of our day? Why do I question why I am homeschooling? It's not the children. I mean like most kids they don't always want to do lessons. They mumble a bit and take their time getting their pencils but overall they come to the table ready.

Where's Mom?

Mom is finding other things to do. Legitimate things mind you but stuff that could wait. In my quest to fill the blanks and be prepared for the day I lost the joy. The focus of what I was doing, where we are going and why I am doing this all lost to some ideal. Some one's idea of what my day should look like.

I have become bogged down with what I saw from other homeschooling families. School should start at such-n-such time. All core subjects should be done every day for 45 minutes. Your 10 year should be at this level and so on.

You really can drive yourself crazy with what Man thinks.

I was talking to a dear friend a week or so ago. We were discussing our homeschool days. She reminded me that I am an unschooler by nature. Kind of live with the attitude of 'You'll learn it when you need to know it.' That's not to say I don't feel you shouldn't be prepared. However unschooling is more about the natural flow of the day, the child. As we discussed my schedule that I prayed over and labored over that now I rebel against ...

She said "You are a square peg trying to fit in a round hole."

It's true. Hello, my name is Terri and I am a Christian Eclectic Unschooler who enjoys small Unit Studies/Lapbooks.

I'm okay with that. The boys are okay with that.

I have great resources this year. I have an amazing friend who has been very helpful. I've decided that there are things that should be accomplished every day. Like reading and math. But to say that we should always do it from 9 to noon is not realistic in our family. Some times "school" will not start until 10. Or perhaps character issues are more important then division for that day.

I know that I am to teach them daily. Teach them what exactly or for how long is dependent on the day. I have my guide lines and my ideas but all subject to the Lord's leading. I know my chief goal is to show my children Christ. Teach them to read and write and let them go from there.

I'm excited to see what our days are going to look like.

Cool new site

2009-10-29T11:41:00.003-04:00

So in my quest for the meanings of some Biblical words I came upon this cool site.
http://www.1828-dictionary.com/

It's Noah Webster's 1828 dictionary. One thing that I thought was really neat is that some definitions have scripture as an example.

Words are powerful. I think getting back to the origin of the word is so beneficial, especially in warfare.

Enjoy your day!

Taking a break

2009-10-16T11:21:00.002-04:00

Today is Friday. It's been rainy and cold for about a week now. We've endured lessons for about 5 or so weeks. Football every evening and all day on Saturdays. We've only lightened our school work a bit when everyone was snotty, cranky, coughy and achy.

So today we are taking a day of rest.

Sure there are things that still need to be done. Like laundry and phone calls. Dishes and dinner.

But today the boys are going to just relax. Their watching movies from the library. Their playing the PS2.

I'm going to use this time to recharge my own batteries. I've straightened the house and folded the laundry. Made the phone calls and organized my thoughts a bit.

I'm going to catch up on my Bible Study and my own fictional library book. I haven't "graded" the boys work so I'm going to go through that and make sure their independent work is done well.

Even though it's rainy and cold today I'm still going to clean out my van. It stinks in there. Must be some wet dirty socks somewhere under a seat. LOL

Today I'm going to laugh quickly and move slowly. Give a ton of hugs and smooches.

I'm going to take a deep breath and bask in the Glory of my God. I'm going to revel in the fact that I am the mama of three great kids and the wife of an amazing man.

Enjoy your day everyone I know I am!

What I've been learning

2009-10-08T21:07:00.002-04:00

I've been learning that God is my source and sustainer.

God makes me LOL

2009-09-15T14:25:00.003-04:00

Our first day of school was Tuesday Septemeber 8. I asked God the whole weekend before to "take over" our school days. Guide me, teach me, give me insight and wisdom. Be with the boys this year as they grow and learn.

So the first day of school comes and guess what ...

Our computer crashed.

We've been "off-line" since. You know what? It's been nice.

Yesterday we came to the library because I had to check my email. I'm leading a Bible Study and hadn't been able to touch base with someone. Anyway, we all enjoyed our hour online. Then we picked out some stuff to take home.

So God is so funny. I asked Him and He certainly answered. :)

I won!

2009-09-01T16:11:00.001-04:00

I entered a contest and I won!

Check out the book that I will soon be receiving in the mail :)

A most serious back to school list

2009-08-31T09:44:00.001-04:00

Over at Heart of the Matter I came across this article:

My (Mostly Serious) Back to School List

Enjoy! :)

Change in Plans

2009-08-27T12:01:00.003-04:00

So I wrote out all my plans for this upcoming year regarding curriculum. All of July I felt really confident in the choices I made. Bo and the boys were on board. Things appeared organized and on point.

Then August hit.

Suddenly I didn't have peace about attending the co-op. I couldn't place my finger on it. I love this co-op. I love the people and the subjects. I was looking forward to this new year. However every time I thought about planning our school week there was an unsettling feeling.

So I asked the kids how they felt about going to the co-op this year. They all agreed that they did not want to go. I asked why. They said it was because they were ready for something different. That resonated with me.

So I took all this to Bo. He thought about it and agreed that we should not attend the co-op this year. He felt that by not going we could really devote more time to academics. He feels that by my teaching a class where other children (and parents) are involved it would be too distracting from our children. I have to agree. Last year I did give more time and energy to that one hour class then I did for the whole week. Not all the time but enough that I felt our year suffered some.

The boys' chief concern was that we would not be friends with our co-op pals. I assured them that was not the case. David was very relieved when one of our friends son came to his birthday party. :)

It was hard telling my friend that we would not be there this year. She was so gracious and assured me that there will always be room for our family. She encouraged me to keep listening to God for He has good plans for us.

I am at complete peace now. Today I received an email from a local museum that is offering classes and dollar days for this upcoming school year. Every year I have had to decline because we didn't have the extra money. But now with not paying for the co-op ... we have the money. :)

I've decided that this year we are going to study hard and take a lot of field trips.

We've decided to combine History, Science and Spelling. The boys and I feel in love with Sequential Spelling. So why change it? History we have decided to study the Middle Ages (again but more in depth) and Modern History. Both areas that the boys really enjoyed last year.

We are also going to study the Presidents. At least the basic facts. We're also going to dive into the Senate, Congress, basically all things related to Government.

The boys and I are going to plan a BIG weekend vacation in DC. We visited it once, at night, after my sister-in-love's wedding. But how fun would a three day trip be? Stay at a hotel, eat out every night :) Walk, walk and walk. I can't wait. What a neat goal to work for.

We've changed our math too. We're going to try Horizons.

We're going to use A Beka for LA.

Reading will be whatever goes along with interests, History, Science and so on.

PE is football for the fall. After the fall either they will pick another sport or they will take a class at the YMCA.

Winter time they are going to have guitar lessons. Which they are beyond excited!

This school year I'm also going to focus on getting Ryan into the Hip-Hop Worship Dance at our church. Matt enjoys musicals and theater so I'm going to try to get him involved in that. D is all about football so maybe this year he will venture out to something else.

So, plans change.

There is great peace!

About that time

2009-08-23T22:10:00.002-04:00

It's about that time of year again. You know what I'm talking about. That time of year when everything is going to be fresh again. New things at church. New TV shows. New school stuff.

For me this time of year brings a lot of excitement. It can also bring some sadness.

This time of year I take stock in where I am in life. How is the homeschoolin' thing going? How are my relationships? What new things will I be doing? What areas in my life will I be dealing with?

Then it hits ...

That part where I realize that I am still where I was.

Just in certain areas.

Not always to the degree that I once was.

There is the tiny victory I must hold onto.

Sure I am the same in some areas but my heart is remaining in Him. John 15:5 says "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."

O Father, I love You. I love You more and more each day. I could never repay You for Your tender mercy and love. I am so thankful that You give all things so freely. I am in awe of You. You are my God and apart from You I have no good thing. i know that there are things that I should be working on. But You are my creator and You designed me. I give it all to You. All of it. Every worry and fear. Every insecurity. You can have all my tears. I'm not perfect and I give you all glory because you never ask me for perfection. You simply ask me to believe that Your Son is the Messiah. You ask me to accept Him as my Lord and Savior. To live a life worthy of the gospel. You ask me to have faith in You. I do! I always will. I praise You Lord! In Jesus' Name - Amen.

Curriculum for the 09/10 school year

2009-07-30T17:17:00.005-04:00

The past couple of years I have just used things here and there. This year though I wanted to make sure I had all the gaps filled in. Really buckle down. The boys and I have had some discussions about this upcoming year. I feel ready and very excited to start back up. Don't get me wrong though - I'm not wishing our summer away.

In addition to the curriculum we are going back to our co-op. Where the boys will be taking History and Science classes. So their actual at home additional History and Science may be limited to "just for fun" reading/studying. Not sure yet on that. The boys will be taking Art and Music at the co-op. In January we will send the boys to private guitar lessons.

Another study I'm adding to our school year is Health. I've chosen Alpha Omega's Switched-On Health Quest. It's one semester but we will probably stretch it out for the whole year. It is for grades 4-7. Ryan will be in 3rd but I'm confident that he will do just fine. It is a CD-Rom program so I think the boys will enjoy that.

So here is what we've chosen for our school year.

Ryan - Grade 3. We are going through Christian Liberty Press. We are going to buy the Third Grade Kit which includes:
Bible - Studying God's Word Book D
Reading - Christian Nature Reader Book 3
Reading - History Stories for Children
Reading - The Story of the Wright Brothers and Their Sister
Language Arts - Building Spelling Skills Book 3
LA- English 3 for Christian Schools (Bob Jones) or God's Gift of Language 3 (A Beka)
Handwriting - Writing with Grace
History - American Pioneers and Patriots
Math - Modern Curriculum Press Mathematics Level C
Science - Exploring God's Creation

Ryan will also be reading a variety of things that tickle his fancy. Probably books about animals or stories told from an animal.

David will be going into the Fifth Grade. Again we're ordering from CLP.
Bible - Studying God's Word Book F
Reading - Christian Nature Reader Book 5
Reading - Jed Smith: Trailblazer of the West
Reading - Of America 1
Reading - Huguenot Garden
Language Arts - Building Spelling Skills Book 5
LA - English 5 for Christian Schools (Bob Jones) or God's Gift of Language B (A Beka)
History - Exploring American History
Geography - Maps, Globes, Graphs - Level E
Math - Modern Curriculum Press Level E
Science - Investigating God's World
Handwriting (not in kit) - Conquering Cursive Left-Handed Workbook by Write-On Handwriting. We are not ordering the computer soft-ware. Just the workbook.

Like Ryan, his reading will depend on his interests. David will probably pick out things that are sports related, specifically football.

My oldest son will be entering the Sixth Grade! Whew. Anyway, again ordering from CLP.
Bible - Studying God's Word Book G
Reading - Iron Scouts of the Confederacy
Reading - The Life of George Washington
Reading - The Story of Inventions
LA- Building Spelling Skills Book 6
LA- English 6 for Christian Schools (Bob Jones) or God's Gift of Language C (A Beka)
History - Story of the Middle Ages
Geography - Maps, Globes, Graphs - Level F
Math- Modern Curriculum Press Level F
Science - Observing God's World
Art - Line Upon Line: An Incremental Approach to Drawing
Handwriting (not in Kit) by Write-On Handwriting - Conquering Cursive Left-Hand Workbook

Matthew's choice of reading will probably stay with the History theme. He enjoys the study of wars, people and countries. He does enjoy a good mystery too.

One thing I have to mention is that with each kit a Lesson Planner is included!

This year I am doing something different. I'm taking all the books and the planners to IHOP. I am going to plan out the whole school year. The first two or three years I would just plan out the first semester. Then this last two or three years I planned one month at a time which then went to one week at a time. I can tell you that kind of planning is not good for us. At the end of each year I felt terrible about how much we had accomplished. Each boy always scored high on their CAT tests but I knew that we had jumped around or skipped things simply because I was diligent. So this year, with much prayer, God has given me the idea of this curricula. I'm going to be careful with it. I'm going to be organized and on top of my game this year. Please keep me in prayer. :)

I want to share with y'all something I find so exciting. Bo is going to make me cubby whole shelves! The shelf will go into our dinning room. I want each boy to be able to put their stuff in a spot and have spots for school supplies.

I'm also going to buy fresh school supplies like crayons, markers, and glue sticks! For the co-op we are going to get each boy a Trapper Keeper. This weekend coming up, August 7-9, is Tax Free for school stuff. So I along with a ton of other moms will be hitting the Walmart aisles. I'm excited.

Well this is our plan for this upcoming year. Have I mentioned that I am excited?

A summer full of possibilities!

2009-06-18T09:08:00.002-04:00

Man, it's been a long time since I have written anything.

Well, I'm just going to dive in.

This summer feels like it is going to be full of possibilities for me to grow and learn, laugh and love, and rest and renew. I can't wait.

The past couple of years have been a place of deep valleys for me. I've had some moments where I felt like I was standing on giant mountains but looking back they were only little hills. That's okay. Whether in the valley or on the hill I have been with my Jesus. He has brought such great healing into my life. I feel like I'm back and better then ever.

I wouldn't trade a single tear or moment of fear. I wouldn't trade a sleepless night. I will not replace Man's peace for Him.

So with all that I look at this summer as an endless possibility to dig deeper, go farther. I have a new resound of the way things should be. I'm studying His Word again. Deeply studying. Looking forward to the fall where I will be hosting/leading a Bible Study. I'm back to writing again.

I am back to looking at each new day as a way to be with Him. God has intensified my heart toward my ministries again.

Oh how I needed my valleys. I needed my valleys because I needed to get back to just Him. I needed to feel like everything was stripped away so that I could remember the One to whom I belong. I needed to remember that I am strong because He gives me strength.

Yes, I needed my valleys to get back to myself. God created me a certain way with a certain part of Him. I cherish it and am thankful for it.

If you take away anything from this post I pray you get this ... Cherish the valley you are in. Cherish the climb up the mountain. You just wont believe the view from the top!

something profound to say

2009-05-27T19:32:00.002-04:00

Oh how I wish I had something profound to say. Something to share that would speak to your heart. Bring comfort, clarity or perhaps healing. I'd love to share all the neat little nuggets that I am learning. I want to be able to share some special scripture that popped out at me during my quiet time.

There's nothing.

I have nothing.

The reason is simple. I'm not spending my time wisely. I'm not spending much, if any real time in God's Word. I'm not praying like I should be. I'm not praising like I should be. I'm not worshiping like I should be.

I'd rather read a book then read the Bible. I would rather watch crap on TV then listen to a worship CD.

I'd like to close my eyes to things rather then call it out. I'd rather surf the web, clean a bathroom or find some other way to occupy my time then do what I should be doing.

Yet, despite my attitude, God is faithful. He keeps calling me into His presence. He keeps reminding me that He has called me to write. He has called me to a ministry. He has sparked something in my heart that He will not let go.

I'm humbled that even though I am feeling blah about things He still chooses me. He still wants me to minister to people. He wants me to bring His message to people.

Now my job is to go out and do it. I need to stop hoping and wishing and actually start doing. God has given me enough time each day to accomplish the day's things. I need to be wise and discerning. I should be concerning myself with the things of the Lord and not Facebook.

I should stop talking about it and start doing it. It's not hard.

Really it's not.

The problem is that my flesh is undisciplined. Lazy really.

That needs to change.

Today I will finish strong. Tomorrow I shall rise up and do what is needed to be done for that day.

Because someone needs to hear this.

2009-05-11T16:06:00.001-04:00

Psalm 20:1,2

May the LORD answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you. May he send you help from the sanctuary and grant you support from Zion.

Lessons on prayer

2009-05-09T09:34:00.004-04:00

God has been talking to me about prayer. He has made it clear that I need to step it up in this department. I'm sure some one can relate.

Looking back over the past few years I realize that I am learning how to pray through something. As oppose to praying about something. There is a difference. I'm learning that there is a huge difference.

What is the difference? Well, here is what I'm learning.

Praying about something or someone is just spending a few minutes lifting that person/situation up in prayer. Just a sense that God has it under control and you just need to mention it in passing.

Praying about something could also turn into a nagging prayer life. I'm guilty of this. "Lord, it's not fair.", "Lord when will You move I'm tired of feeling like I'm all alone.", "God why this or why that?"

This is not the same as a flare prayer. You know the ones you utter in the quick of the moment. The almost car accident. When you child does something and you realize your temper in about to explode. The sudden feeling/discernment that something is wrong so you quickly say something to God for protection.

Those to me now are praying about stuff or people.

Praying through is when you are on your face before God. Your heart is always in silent prayer for that person or situation. You are humbled before God not imposing your will on anything. You truly want to see Him move and you don't care how or what it looks like.

Praying through something consumes who you are and you don't even realize it until it's over. For example, our son David and his new medicine. The medicine costs $1,700 per shot, per month. I cried, I prayed and I sought out anyone and everyone who would listen and pray. It was always before me in my thoughts and heart. I knew that God would show Himself mighty to me and anyone else who would hear this story.

Yet I went on. I didn't get upset or frustrated with God when the application for assistance was sent to the wrong fax number. I didn't get frustrated or upset when the actual application was wrong. I didn't panic when the doctor was on vacation for two weeks and couldn't sign the paperwork. I just got up every morning and brought it before God. Confident that He was the only way through this. That He created David. That God alone would touch this and make things new and restored.

Then I received the news that David was approved for the financial help.

My whole body shook. I cried. I sobbed hard. I fell on my face literally and chocked out praises. For the next few hours I would fall on my knees, hands up towards Heaven singing about how great our God is. I couldn't keep a smile off my face. With each new person I shared it with I sobbed in true admiration of how awesome Christ is. I couldn't even text it to my girlfriend without crying. I will never forget how it felt deep in my marrow.

For the first time in my life I truly understand Psalm 40:1 "I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry."

That is what I did. I waited patiently, reverently for the Lord to answer us. He turned towards me and heard my cry.

When you pray about something and it is answered the general response is "Wonderful. God is awesome." Which is good and right. He is awesome. I'm finding that when I pray about something I am thankful for just the answer.

An example of 'praying about' would be a friend's job interview. The car passing inspection. Little things. You know.

When you pray through something and it is answered your overwhelming response is to fall on your knees in pure worship for the One. Not for the answer but for the One who answered.

This is what I'm learning. Just writing it out brings tears to my eyes. My spirit is so sensitive to this merciful lesson on praying.

My youngest boy

2009-05-08T09:38:00.002-04:00

On Wednesday my youngest son turned 8.

It's hard to believe that eight years ago I came home with my third son. I remember being so confident that I would know what to do. I would know his cries, know when he would start to smile, sleep through the night, start to crawl and walk. All those things that you know because you have had some boys before.

Boy was I wrong! Ryan is his own man. He has an independent streak that boils my blood some times. However I know that God has made him this way for His purpose. Ryan is not a follower. If he is going to do it, it will be because he wanted to do it.

I really do admire how he will weigh the consequences of his actions and well, often times do it anyway. As a mother that is frustrating but that is Ryan. I love that about him. I just can't tell him that yet. :)

I have seen Ryan grow and mature over this past year. It is always so wonderful to see.

Ryan is such a compassionate boy. I've seen him walk up to homeless men and give them the pennies in his pocket. He can't wait until he can have a checking account so he can use his debit card to give money to the SPCA. Isn't that cute? He is a giver and I admire that about him. He never thinks twice about it.

What a kid!!

Happy 8th birthday Ryan! I love you.

2009-05-02T19:15:00.001-04:00

I'm trying something new. Blogger says we can post via TXT so lets see how that works ...

catching up

2009-05-02T00:10:00.002-04:00

Yesterday David received his first shot. What a champ. As usual I was not surprised that he didn't flinch. The nurse was surprised. It was a big needle. But that is my David.

Today was a bit surprising though. David was actually in a really great mood. He giggled like a little kid again. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes.

I'm still in love with my house.

Bo is merging his company with another company. What a huge blessing. At first I was terrified. Well, deep in my spirit I was okay but on the surface I was worried. Now there is just perfect peace. This afternoon we helped Bo move his desk and stuff into his new office. I'm really diggin' having my bedroom back. There is room to have a chair. I think it would be neat to have a chair there and be able to sit and read. Or more likely put a big pile of clean but not folded clothes on it. Oh well.

Matt caught a catfish today. You couldn't get rid of his smile.

Ryan had a tick in his armpit. We were able to get all of it out except for the mouth part. I tried every home remedy I could find. Nothing worked. But tonight we finally dug it out. Praise God.

Thanks to Facebook I have actually been talking to my sisters a lot. I haven't spoken to my brother in six or seven years. Last week I got his email from one of my sisters. So today I wrote him. I talked to my step-mom today. It was good to hear her voice. I'm going to be better at keeping in contact. Really, what is 10 minutes of my time? Nothing really. I allow other things to occupy my time. Such a shame.

I'm ready to really loose weight. We joined the Y again. But this time my mind is different. My overall goal is loose about 50 pounds. But my first goal is to loose 20 pounds by my friend's wedding at the end of June.

Some days I'm ready for school to be over and other days I'm not. I think we might go into June one week. I really need to focus on spelling a lot more.

I'm re-committing my commitment to writing. I'm going to start posting more and writing for Tidewater Cross Section again.

I want to laugh more.

This Spring with all it's changes has inspired me to freshen up and make some changes. I'm excited to see what all is going to happen.

Well, I guess that is it. I just wanted to touch base a bit. Hope all is well with y'all.

Glory to God!

2009-04-23T17:59:00.002-04:00

Today I received the news that David's medicine will be covered by the pharmaceutical company!!

Praise God!

Shout for glory!

I have been rejoicing all day. Not one thing has gotten me down today. I have cried my praises, I have laughed my praises. I fell on my face in complete silence. Just about every way to manifest my joy I have done today.

May God forever be praised!

A big "Thank You" to all for praying and standing with us. Your prayers have been heard!

Update on the medicine

2009-04-06T16:40:00.002-04:00

I called the pharmaceutical company. I faxed our application to the wrong fax number. I sent it to their "general" fax line. Not the specific medication fax line. So Friday I resubmitted everything to the correct number. I'm going to call on Friday to see how it's going. Thank you all for your prayers. God is moving, strengthening and speaking to our whole family. It is wonderful.

We shall, we shall, we shall not be moved! Standing firm in a complete healing.

Peace

2009-03-31T11:14:00.003-04:00

What brings peace to you?

For awhile now I have thought that peace was when I was walking in the Will of God. I thought peace came when I was blameless. Peace was in my life when "all is right with the world." Is that your idea too?

God showed me something a few weeks back. These things are a result of His peace. The source of peace is the Presence of God.

That's it. That simple.

Peace is here when the Spirit of the Lord comes.

That's why you can have your whole world fall apart and still have peace.

You can be ugly, mean-spirited, hurtful but come to a place of true repentance and have peace.

God's presence is PEACE. He is peace. He brings peace. He leaves peace.

I find myself at times especially before I "got" this begging God for His peace. Trying to align myself up in such a way that would bring peace. I would try to say the right things, behave the right way, striving for that peace. When simply all I have to do is ask God to come. Draw near to me. All that is required for His peace is to simply sit close to Him.

It's a glorious thing, His peace. Have you felt it today?

Prayer please

2009-03-19T16:05:00.002-04:00

Our son David's disease has forced his body into spontaneous puberty. He is 9 with the bone age of a 15 year old. The medicine that the doctor has prescribed to stop the puberty is $1,700 a month.
We do not have the money for this. So there are some things in the works. The doctor is aware of the situation and is helping.
Please keep all of it in prayer. We are believing God for a healing at all times.
Bless y'all!

My sweet boy

2009-03-09T19:50:00.002-04:00

Ryan, my almost 8 year old, said the cutest thing to me just now.

I'm on the computer catching up on some blogs. Thinking about how I should be writing something for here and for Tidewater Cross Section. I'm also thinking about how I should be unpacking more of my room. Perhaps the dishes should be placed in the dishwasher. I need to get some laundry done before what is actually clean gets mixed in with the dirty. You know, all that stuff we think about while mindlessly surfing the web.

On his way to the living room from the kitchen he stopped by me.

"Mom, make sure you don't look at anything inappropriate."

He is such a sweet boy. Gotta love my guy.

What I have been up to ...

2009-02-21T19:44:00.002-05:00

We're moving. Enough said. LOL

Sunday, March 1st we are moving to a wonderful new home. It's beyond my dreams. God truly does listen to the desires of our hearts. Of course they have to be aligned with Him.

The boys are all done. Can you believe it? It's awesome. The only toys left are the ones they play with every day. You know, NERF guns and footballs.

I'm pretty much done as well. Bo has a few things left like his WHOLE office. We'll get it done.

All utilities are set up. Most important the cable man is meeting me at the new house the day we move in. Yep. I'm happy. Please, if you feel the need to pray for my "addiction" to the television, do so quietly. :)

Not sure how much I'm going to be posting the next two weeks. You can say a prayer that the actual move runs smooth. Bo has hurt his left shoulder. So please do pray for that. It hurts bad. He has even been up at 2 rubbing Ben-Gay and popping Motrin. Of course it is bad because he has very manual job and he is left handed. Poor guy.

Well, I'm off to watch UFC!

Found this neat website

2009-02-10T08:21:00.002-05:00

Reading has become very important to me. I encourage the boys to read on their own. I read on my own. During the week we are always reading together.

When my boys were younger the choice of books was easy. At least in my mind. Now that Matthew is 11 I find that we are in a whole new world. I can see how his generation is being enticed to read crap. Demonic, extreme fantasy, disrespectful, the list goes on.

I was not raised to be a lover of reading. I still to this day couldn't name more then a few "classics". I know, that's sad. But I'm changing that and passing on a legacy of reading.

In my quest to find a good list of books to look through I found a neat site.

Classical Homeschooling. I've linked you to Classical Christian Homeschooling Loop: 1000 Good Books List.

So, this week we are off to library! :)

If we still built altars today, what would you name yours?

2009-02-09T15:24:00.003-05:00

Judges 6:23,24

But the LORD said to him, “Peace! Do not be afraid. You are not going to die.” So Gideon built an altar to the LORD there and called it The LORD is peace. To this day it stands in Ophrah of the Abiezrites.

Gideon named an altar after an encounter with God. The LORD is peace. If we were still building altars today what would you name yours? Take a minute to think about it.

Here are some of the names I would choose from.

The LORD is healer. God healed me from a very painful muscle disease. He also healed me from a number of different headaches. Both things plagued me for roughly 12 years. A few weeks before my 24th birthday, He healed me.

The LORD is deliver. God has delivered me from a spirit of suicide. My God has delivered me from self-mutilation. He has delivered me from a sinful, selfish life.

The LORD is love. He has given me love, unconditional love so freely. He has taught me to love myself and others.

The LORD is patience. God has shown me great patience. He continues to pour out into my life no matter how many times I stumble.

The LORD is protector. I know that if it were not for God I would not be here. He has kept me safe not just physically but emotionally and spiritually as well.

Those titles are just a few. I don’t think I will ever be able to completely name all my altars. So what about you? What are some names you can think of?

Psalms

2009-02-09T13:34:00.004-05:00

Psalm 117

Praise the LORD, all you nations;

extol him, all you peoples.

For great is his love toward us,

and the faithfulness of the LORD

endures forever.

Praise the LORD.

Psalm 150

Praise the LORD.

Praise God in his sanctuary;

praise him in his mighty heavens.

Praise him for his acts of power;

praise him for his surpassing

greatness.

Praise him with the sounding of the

trumpet,

praise him with the harp and lyre,

praise him with tambourine and

dancing,

praise him with the strings and flute,

praise him with the clash of cymbals,

praise him with resounding

cymbals.

Let everything that has breath praise

the LORD.

Praise the LORD.

Scripture is clear ... PRAISE THE LORD!

My mom rocked today

2009-02-06T22:06:00.003-05:00

We are in the process of selling our house and looking for a rental. Which we found a wonderful four bedroom, two and a half bath. Beautiful colors. Totally renovated. Granite counter tops in kitchen and baths. Anyway, that is besides the point. We know we are going somewhere. So I'm packing. I don't want to be caught off guard. That is no fun. The last time we moved, it was sort of like Jon and Kate this last episode. As quickly as I was packing guys were loading it up.

Just no fun. So in my quest to be more mature in my life I have decided to be completely ready.

However helping the boys pack their rooms brings fear upon me. LOL Today my mom came over and rocked it out. She went from room to room, helping each one sort out their stuff. She had a box for each boy, a community box (in case they found stuff in their rooms that belonged to all three) and a free box that we will be freecycling.

They spent three hours. I left to view two houses and get pizza. :)

When I returned I was blessed with not just one box, not just two boxes, not just three but over 20 packed boxes! She even had a box for each boy that is housing their every day toys. Those boxes are not taped so that each kid can still access those toys.

I am very excited and encouraged to get this house done. Tonight, after I'm done with the laundry, I am going to make a list of things still needing to be done. It doesn't seem like that much now. On Wednesday she is going to come back over and finish up their rooms and help me where needed.

And to think, all this wonderful help only costs me a pot of coffee! :)

Trying something new for a few weeks.

2009-02-04T09:30:00.002-05:00

The boys and I have hit a wall in our school year. None of us are excited about learning right now. I think there are two main problems. One is that my mind is some place else most of the time. Or at least was. We are in the process of selling our house. Enough said, right? :) The other problem is that we have fallen into a boring routine.

We usually start school around 10. Each subject is about 30-45 minutes long. We break roughly the same time every day for snacks, lunch, check emails :) and fresh air.

I find myself just teaching the material. I'm just checking to see if they are filling in all the blank spaces. I've started to rely on all the problems done on the worksheet instead of checking to see if they can apply that knowledge to life.

I noticed a week or so ago that the boys were less then thrilled to be doing lessons. As a mom I knew it was more then "I don't want to do it today." kind of thing. True, we had just come off of a break but the subjects that once brought excitement were getting the silent treatment.

I prayed.

I had one of those "While still praying, God sent the answer." kind of thing happen. :) God is good.

We've decided to take each day and only fill it with one to two subjects. Instead of spending 45 minutes on something, we'll spend two hours. Instead of rushing on to the next thing, we'll dive deeper.

The boys are excited. They are looking forward to just day of math and reading. Or just a day of grammar and history. Maybe tomorrow we'll do spelling and "life" stuff. Perhaps just a day of delight directed learning.

I'm looking forward to it. We haven't officially started yet. I had planned on starting it on Monday. But Monday I used as a scrub the house down day, including but not limited to, throwing out junk. :) Tuesdays we have co-op and because we didn't do the homework on Monday, Tuesday become "Let's get the homework done before we have to leave" day.

So today we will start our "One to two subject day".

I think this kind of schedule will be such a benefit for me right now. Just off the top of my head I can focus more on David's reading, packing the house, keeping it clean in case of a walk-through, maybe get dinner ready at a decent time. :)

I think the kids are going to benefit because it will allow them to dive into stuff a little bit more. Plus I will be able to get a clearer picture of what they know and don't.

I'm thinking about making it a little more structured. Meaning all Mondays are homework and math days, Tuesdays are spelling and co-op days, etc. Or perhaps just plan out the week one week at a time. Just plop stuff down as I want. Not sure yet. I'm leaning more towards a structured way because really Monday and Tuesday are pretty much planned out already. So why not do Wednesday and Thursday that way too?

Well, now I'm off to start our school day :)

2009-01-29T17:48:00.005-05:00

Where do I start? I want so much to have something profound to say. I'd love to share some deep revelation. But I have nothing.

Perhaps it's because I am not feeling well. It seems the flu is trying to catch me.

Perhaps it's because I'm not spending nearly enough time with God. Yep, I think that's it.

My lack of spending time in His word, seeking Him, praying and worshiping have nothing to do with anything. It's not because everything is great and therefore I can slack a bit. Cause things are not great and you can never slack a bit.

It's not because things are terrible and I don't want the conviction. Cause things are not terrible and I still have the Holy Spirit so there is (from time to time) conviction.

I think I'm just tired. I'm tired of failing. This is man made failure. Follow me. Please. I "think" I should get up at a certain time and spend time praying, reading and being with God. I then should take a walk around the block. Next I should shower, dress, check email, wake boys, eat breakfast. Followed by starting school with a happy heart.

I'm whipped just thinking about it. Yet, when I think about doing those things I feel excitement. But the actual doing it I rebel. Why? Why is it that no matter what time I go to bed I cannot get up early? Am I getting to much sleep? Is there such a thing? LOL

I can't stand this "feeling". I can't stand feeling like I'm in limbo. I'm in between knowing what I should be doing and actually doing it. Limbo stinks.

It's time to get a plan. It's time to say to myself "LOOK chic - get it together, grow up, suck it up and do the thing!"

If I want to accomplish the stuff that I believe I should be doing then I simply cannot forsake any time with God. He must be first. I must be in His word. The Bible. Not simply a little devotional, although nice and encouraging, those books are not THE book. I need to be worshipping Christ. I must be praying with confidence and seeking His heart.

Then all this "stuff" will be a lot easier to focus on and do. It will also make it easier to recognize the onset of rebellion (or laziness or being a wimp) and deal with it.

So tomorrow morning I shall rise up and spend time with my God.

Matthew met the Mayor!

2009-01-25T22:24:00.007-05:00

On January 13 our oldest boy met Mayor Kransnoff. Not only did he met the Mayor but he and his team were introduced to the City Council. Why? Well because they were the FIRST Pop Warner Chesapeake Football Team to win not only the Division Title but also the Regional Title!

Matthew, Matt as he is known on the field, was a little nervous. But once Mayor Krasnoff came out he was all smiles. Our Mayor is quit the funny guy. It's also really nice to know that he is a man of God. And he is not ashamed of it! :)

Below are some pictures I took (with my phone. :))

Here is Matt waiting, looking a little nervous. :)

The KNIGHTS with Mayor Krasnoff

Mayor Krasnoff presenting a certificate to Matthew.

The team sitting at the Council Meeting.

The boys are standing being recognized for all their hard work.

This is after The Pledge of Aligence (which was after the opening prayer! Which mentioned a few times how Jesus is our only Savior!)

It was funny to me to see God's hand. Let me explain. :) This year, for a reason unknown to me, I taught the boys The Pledge. We would every so often stand on our front porch, face our neighbor's American Flag and recite it loud and proud. From time to time I would think to myself "Why is this so important to you for the boys to know it like right now?" Well I figured it out when we were told to "All rise for The Pledge of Alligence." I smiled at God.

He knew, He knew. Now tell me that God isn't cool!

It was such a wonderful time. We stayed for the whole meeting. Bo and I want to bring the boys back to some more meetings. It was just so cool.

Today is his birthday

2009-01-21T12:04:00.003-05:00

Today my oldest boy turns 11. Wow. Really? Eleven?

The past few months I have been able to see the struggle of a young man's journey. Part of him wants to play with Lego's and light sabers. The other part is diving into good books and discussing the Fall of Man.

My heart is overwhelmed by him. I catch myself watching him. Just watching in amazement at how much he looks like his father. It tickles me when he catches the jokes that are meant for older audiences. Nothing bad of course. The way Matthew can rationalize with me or speak of things that I don't even get (LOL) just blesses my heart.

Matthew, you are a great kid. I'm having a hard time today putting into words how wonderful you are. But trust me, you are amazing and smart, funny and charming, loyal and trustworthy. Really so much more.

Happy Birthday my boy!
Love forever,
-Mom

I had no idea!

2009-01-16T10:28:00.002-05:00

I just found a very cool website today. I had no idea. Please don't judge me on my lack of knowledge. :)

Internet Public Library

I haven't looked at everything but so far I've checked out the Kid's Page. Very cool. Check out Aesop's Fables which can be read or listened to. Again, very cool!

Check it out!

Status Report

2009-01-15T16:33:00.002-05:00

Sitting... At my husband's very messy desk.

Wearing... Some comfy sweats and a VT t-shirt. That's Virginia Tech if y'all don't know. :)

Just finished reading... Truth Seeker by Dee Henderson. LOVED it. I love all her books (so far)

Reading next... The Protector by Dee Henderson. Also skimming through some books on Charlotte Mason. I am really drawn to her style.

Honored ... That God really trusts me with these boys. I think it's more of the fact that He knows He is bigger then any mistake I make.

Drinking ... Black coffee of course. :)

Listening to ... Matthew and Ryan play Guitar Hero together.

Waiting for ... Bo and David to come home from the bank. I wonder if Bo remembered to bring me a lollipop?

Thinking about... My best friend and her daughter.

Avoiding ... Finishing Ezekiel. There is four of us gal friends who are studying God's Word together through a private blog. We are stuck on him. I think I will just finish it, post about it and move on. Seriously, we've taken like three months!

Started ... Packing up the house. Bo and I are in the process of selling it. We move March 1 and I don't want a repeat of last time. It was hectic and a mess. So I've started it now.

Wondering ... If my sweet friend (and her family) is done moving into her new place. I can't wait to see it!

Can't wait ... To hold a Life Group meeting at their place!

Getting Ready to ... Sign off so I can hang out with my family.

*Nope, Bo did not remember a lollipop. Oh well.

2009-01-09T23:33:00.002-05:00

Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Today I think I truly understood this verse. Kind of a move from head to heart.

Today we had Life Group. Last night however the boys slept out in the living room watching the BCS Bowl. Which meant bowls of popcorn everywhere. Cups filled with half drunk drinks everywhere. Couch cushions all over the floor.

Hey, when we let the boys do something, we really let them do something! LOL

Well today I woke up really late. Tomorrow I have a husband/wife realtor team coming over to take pictures of the house. Did I mention we had Life Group tonight?

I was becoming overwhelmed as the day went on with little progress. While I was picking up the what seemed like fourteenth pair of dirty socks God spoke Matthew 6:34.

Instant clarity.

My new plan was set in motion. I would clean up downstairs for the Life Group. I wouldn't worry about Saturday's stuff until early Saturday morning.

Let tomorrow worry about itself.

God's Word is so good.

LORI! and anyone else who wants to read my article. :)

2009-01-08T13:33:00.002-05:00

Today my article was published. I am beyond excited! Just ask the people I called screaming. LOL

I wrote from my heart. I wrote it as if I was sharing with my girlfriends something I read and got out of scripture. I'm so nervous. WHEW! So nervous and so excited!

O.K. here is the link. Click HERE :)

I'm the "Today's Special Feature" too!! Check it out. ;) The main link will remain under "Local Writers".

God is so cool!

How has your day been?

2009-01-07T22:32:00.002-05:00

My day has been good. I can't say that I did anything spectacular.

I spent about thirty minutes with each boy (and Scrabble tiles) going over reading rules like the Silent E and saying Cs. I'm using a guide for dyslexics. Then each boy spent the day reading off and on. That was it. Sometimes they read to me. Sometimes they didn't. Every once in awhile a kid would share a funny story that happened in their book.

It was nice. I read too. :) I just started book 3 in the O'Malley Series by Dee Henderson. Such good books!

I straightened up a bit. Nothing new there. I forgot to clean out Rocky's cage. That is our turtle. Oh well. He'll be alright one more day.

I did some laundry but just the washing and drying part. ;)

We kept the TV off a lot today. It was nice. I should be more intentional about that. I'm just so used to hearing it. Half the time we are not even watching it.

Tonight after the boys went to bed I typed a letter for Bo.

Oh, I wrote my first article for the local online magazine that I'm writing for. :) I'm so nervous. When it's published, which should be this week, I'll hook y'all up ... maybe. No, no, I'm kidding. That's just my nerves talking.

I spoke with my very best friend today. I haven't talked to her since, gosh, before Christmas I think. Maybe that Saturday afterwards. I don't know but it's been a long time to me.

I completely misunderstood an email but God didn't. So I'm confident that what I said is what He wanted me to say.

I'm going to re-read my Charlotte Mason books. I really am drawn to her style and philosophy.

I haven't walked in two days but I've been keeping up with the water intake. It's been raining for two days. Well, today was off and on but we were enjoying just reading. Tomorrow should be nice. I'll walk tomorrow. Since the first of the year I have lost two pounds. I am serious about it this time.

I realized last night that I am done with a certain thing that held me in bondage for some time. GLORY!

Bo and I are closer now then we have been in a very long time. God is good.

I am thoroughly enjoying our Life Group. Healing our lives, fixing our finances and saving our marriages! May God be praised!

My oldest is turning 11 soon. Where does the time go? Seriously.

In a few Wednesdays I will be taking a class at my church called "Grappling with the Will of God" One of my favorite pastor is teaching it. I'm excited. We call it Prime Time. It's equipping. We have Fall and Winter sessions. We might even have Spring. I don't remember. Usually I'm involved in Bible Study. I try not to over load myself. Anyway, this Winter I'm choosing this. Prime Time is usually 6 weeks long. Oh, that reminds me. I have to sign up the boys for their thing! Anyway, here is the description:

Have you ever asked the question: "What does God want me to do?" We all seek God's guidance and want His direction in our lives. And let's face it--it can get really confusing. Have you ever felt immobilized for fear of doing the wrong thing? Ever think you "heard something" and wonder: "Was that just me or was that really God?" What kinds of things does God care about? And what kinds of decisions does God want you, as one exercising free will, to resolve? Join us for a discovery that I believe will impact both your understanding of God's will and the way you approach decisions.

Well, I guess that's enough chatting. Bo and I are going to go snuggle up and watch some Law & Order!

2008-12-30T10:23:00.004-05:00

I'm just a couple of days away from a new year. I'm not sure how I feel about it. Part of me is super excited to put up a new calendar. Ready to make my list of new things I want to accomplish this next year. I'm anxious to pick my self up from a hard year. I'm ready to walk every day. Ready to home school with a fresh attitude. I'm ready to write.

Yet I'm still here. My heart feels torn between wanting to get up and go and sit here and stay. I can feel the battle in my spirit.

I see my Heavenly Father holding His mighty right hand out to me yet I can feel the breath of Satan against my ear as he whispers lies.

I simply can not ignore the lies of the enemy. It won't make him go away.

I need to read God's word. I need to spend time in His presence. I need to stand up. I need to put one foot in front of the other. I need to reach out and take hold of God.

Only then can the words of death not be heard.

This new year for me isn't about my plans. This year is about truly glorifying Christ. It's going to be about digging deeper, going farther.

I'm still going to make my lists like exercise, home school, ministry outside of the home, things like that but instead of thinking that He gave me those ideas I'm going to ask Him. I know He wants me to care for this temple I have. I know He has called our family to homeschooling. I know He has placed a desire to write in my spirit. What I don't necessarily know is how He wants me to do it. When to go ahead and when to stop. I'm not sure how my days should look.

So I will sit with Him in prayer and worship. I will rest, ask and then I will listen.

Just blessed my heart

2008-12-28T17:31:00.003-05:00

For the past five days my husband has been cleaning the kitchen. No real reason, he just wants to bless me. Since I'm an act of service kind of girl he felt this would really knock my socks off.

It has! :)

Today something was said that just tickled me so much. Every time I think about it I crack up.

After church today Bo was going to cook out on the grill. Our kitchen was a mess from last night's fight night and today's breakfast. Bo stood at the counter getting the hamburger patties ready when he looked up at me. He had such a sincere looking face.

He said "Man, I am tired of cleaning this kitchen every day!"

Me: giggle

Bo: "Everyday I have to completely clean this kitchen. Boys, you better start treating your Mama right."

Me: Full out laughter.

Merry Christmas

2008-12-24T17:41:00.003-05:00

Matthew 1:21

"She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins."

Isaiah 7:14

Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.

Matthew 1:23
"The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel"--which means, "God with us."

Luke 1:30-33

But the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end."

I am so thankful for this precious gift. Immanuel, God with us. What a wonderful thing to know. God loves us so much that He gave us the gift of His son so that all may know Him and have ever lasting life. His kingdom will never end. Glory!

Merry Christmas!

Quote for my life ...

2008-12-18T11:05:00.005-05:00

People who know how to employ themselves

always find leisure moments,

while those who do nothing

are forever in a hurry

-Marie-Jeanne Roland

I feel blessed today

2008-12-15T14:10:00.003-05:00

Today is a good day. The weather is beautiful. I've have a check to collect. Still have almost a full tank of gas. My family is getting over this little cold/flu bug. Tomorrow we have a Christmas party with our co-op. Today I have enough money in the account to purchase the treats needed for the party. Bo and I are getting on the same page with our spiritual walk. I picked up the Dave Ramsey book from the library yesterday. I found a missing library book yesterday. Only charged 45 cents. :) My garden is cleaned out. No more dead leaves. I pruned my bush and other plants on Saturday. So today I'm heading to Home Depot with the boys to pick up some Mums and other fall/winter plants. Just about $10 worth. Laundry is not only done but put away! I know, that right there has me shouting Glory! The boys have kept their rooms clean by their own choice for about a week now. Another Glory moment. God is speaking to me so much during my Meek and Quiet study. I'm using a 30 day pray for you child thing and I started saying the prayers like the Twelve Days of Christmas. I know it is blessing my boys but I tell y'all something, by the time I get to the fourth or fifth day something just rises up in my spirit. I walk away feeling as if I have just battled against Satan. Which, of course, I have. But you know what I'm saying. I figured out a block schedule for our school day. I think it's going to work very well. Of course it feels foreign today but give it a few weeks and I believe we'll be rolling. Well, for now that is about it. I told the boys we would leave at a certain time. I should keep my word. :)

Meditate on all the wonderful works of our Lord today!! Have fun and make a list.

The Eve of a pretty important day

2008-12-10T22:55:00.002-05:00

Today is the Eve of a pretty important day ... My birthday!

Yep, that's right.

Tomorrow morning I will wake up 32 years old.

I am very excited! :) I enjoy my birthday so much, I truly do. Today I have been thinking about why that is. I honestly don't know. I guess because I have always looked forward to growing older, being wiser, settling in.

Some pretty exciting things have happened this week for me. I'll share a few things with you.

One thing that just has me tickled is that I will soon be writing for a local online magazine. I think that is pretty neat. As soon as everything is up and running I will let you know.

Another thing is that Bo and I along with another couple will be having a Life Group together. We are going to be focusing on finances. We are going to read Dave Ramsey's book Total Money Makeover. The get together will be once a week, probably Thursdays. Starting tomorrow. My girlfriend asked me if I was okay with meeting on my birthday. I thought to myself "What better gift?" (Bree, I know you are excited reading about this!)

I know that God is going to meet and minister to us on so many different levels during our time of focusing on finances. We are about to have our socks blown off! ;)

What else ... oh, I finished reading this awesome book on Dyslexia. It's Overcoming Dyslexia by Sally Shaywitz, M.D. There was one part that said "While a parent should not become her child's primary teacher, she can become her child's biggest helper." I just chuckled to myself. But besides the push that public education was the best at teaching a child with dyslexia it was a good resource. I have about 17 pages of notes that I took. I can't wait to sit down with David tomorrow and begin going over things. The book, for me, broke down how to teach a dyslexic kid with just some books, highlighters and index cards. Very cool.

Well I can't think of anything else other then I have really great friends who are always praying for me and my family. I have a wonderful, saving relationship with Jesus Christ. I'm learning the difference between being happy and being cheerful. I still do not have any gray hair. My house is warm, my kids are fed, my husband has a job, my van has gas, I can stay home and homeschool. I'm starting to get a very clear vision for our days concerning chores and lessons. Bo and I are starting to get on the same page spiritually. There is peace and rest in my soul. I started a cute little (very powerful) study on being meek and quiet which just with the first nine questions has blessed me so.

What a great place to be when I turn 32 tomorrow!

Division III Mid-South CHAMPS!

2008-12-01T10:46:00.003-05:00

That's right, we won!

13-12 Final.

I am so proud of those boys. They played their heart out. The team was given a trophy and each boy was given a cup and pin. The cup says "Mid-South Regional Champions 2008" The title is for VA, NC and SC, Alabama and Mississippi, KY, TN and WV.

I tell you what there are no parents like a KNIGHT parent. We are by far the rowdiest bunch. I love it. At one point during the last part of the fourth quarter we were all screaming DEFENCE and stomping out feet. Every play we cheered even if our team lost yards! LOL WE just love JPW football!

The team party is next Monday. Each boy will have their picture taken with the trophy. No, I don't have any photos! LOL But my close friends will be invited to take a look on the team's website. Sorry to the rest of y'all but I don't know you. :) I'm sure you understand.

Give Thanks

2008-11-27T11:00:00.003-05:00

Psalms 118:21
I will give you thanks, for you answered me; you have become my salvation

Psalms 118:28
You are my God, and I will give you thanks; you are my God, and I will exalt you.

Heavenly Father, I give you thanks today for you are my salvation. I give thanks to You today for my husband. He is a wonderful, honorable man. Lord, I give you thanks for my precious boys. They are my delight. Father I give you thanks for my warm home. I give You thanks for our health. I give You all the glory, honor and praise Sweet Saviour this and every day. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Charlotte Baby!

2008-11-24T10:14:00.003-05:00

We are heading to Charlotte, North Carolina this Friday! We are beyond excited.

MID-SOUTH CHAMPIONSHIP GAMES this weekend, Baby!

Matthew and his team will be playing in the Turkey Bowl. Isn't that cool?

I'm not sure how many teams are playing. I'm not sure who we will be playing. I just wanted to let y'all know we won our play-off and are heading to the Championship game.

GO KNIGHTS!

BTW - Saturdays game was their fourth shut out. Meaning that was the fourth game where the other team did not score points. Oh yeah Baby!

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL?!

2008-11-21T09:00:00.002-05:00

In about two hours we will be heading out to South Carolina. Matthew's team is facing the St. John Crusaders from Northern Alabama for the final play off before Regionals! If we win this then we are heading to the Regional Championship games!

We are beyond excited!!

The league is paying for our hotel. How awesome is that?! A full tank of gas is only $31. How awesome is that?! The hotel is going to serve us a full southern buffet breakfast for like 5 bucks a person. How awesome is that?!

I am so proud of Matthew and his team. They have worked so hard.

Please keep all the Junior Pee Wee (JPW) players from both teams in your prayers. No injuries!
Also keep the parents in your prayers. No heart attacks!
Lots of prayers too for travel mercies. No wrecks or break downs.

It's about a seven hour drive. The game is early Saturday so we will be driving back. We have a late check out which is very cool. M will be able to shower and change before we head home.

I feel like I'm the mom of some NFL player. It's so sweet. Get this, when we arrive we are to have the "Front Desk" notify Coach that "Matt L ..." has arrived. Isn't that cool? LOL

The five of us are jumping out of our skin with excitement.

I will let you guys know, win or lose, how it goes some time on Sunday.

GO KNIGHTS!!

Prayer requests

2008-11-19T11:26:00.002-05:00

O.K. I have some prayer requests. Please feel free to leave a comment or email me if you have some encouragement or a Word.

Homeschooling - Creativity, curricula, and structure
Our mortgage - wisdom and clarity
Health of my family - that we stay healthy and a healing for David
Our business - for work to increase and for us to be paid on time.
My prayer life - God is calling me into a deeper prayer life. I want to learn what He wants to teach me.
Writing - I am stepping out on a limb, jumping out of my comfort zone. I'm going to submit some things to an online magazine. I want God glorified in my spirit whether my stuff is picked or not.

Thank you all Mighty Prayer Warriors!

200th post

2008-11-16T19:14:00.002-05:00

This is my 200Th post!

I've been wondering since the 198Th post what I should write. I wanted something deep and profound. Something that would make you ponder things with me. Something that would have y'all commenting.

But nothing comes to mind.

I did have a very cool quiet time today in my van during Matthew's Pre-season Lacrosse practice. But it hasn't quite sunk in yet so I will wait to share. :)

However in true fashion of my life I will share some little things going on around here.

1. Yesterday Bo and I celebrated 11 years of marriage. We had a very busy but relaxing day. We watched Matthew play his first play-off game in the morning. Then my mom came over and we all just hung out until it was time for our movie. We watched Lakeview Terrace (it was good.) and had dinner. Bo and I were going to head over to a local restaurant afterwards to watch the UFC Fight but it was way to crowded. So we just went home. Plus we were so pooped from getting up so early for football that we didn't want to be out past 1a.

2. Matthew is in the Mid-South playoffs for Pop Warner Football. We are beyond excited! Last Saturday, the 8Th, Matthew's Junior Pee Wee (JPW) team won the Division Title for our area. This Saturday, the 15Th, was the first of two play-off games for our Region. They played a team from North Carolina. We won 19-0! Now we are moving onto our final play-off before Regionals. We are playing in South Carolina against a team from Alabama. We're staying in a hotel Friday night. How cool is that?!

3. David's team won their Bowl game. That was on the 8Th too. His team ends their season 7-2. The Mitey Mites are too young to travel so they play a local bowl. They were given a metal after the win. He was so excited. Of course we were proud parents!

4. Ryan finished his season on November 1st. They are too young to travel and there is no bowl game for them. Ryan was fine, we knew it from last year. He finished his awesome season 6-2.

5. Ryan has started Wrestling. If you know my Ryan then you know that it is perfect for him. He just loves it. The coaches are pretty impressed that this is his first season. His only problem is enough patience. He is always looking for the "big" take down. That just comes with experience. I'm not exactly sure when his first tournament is. I'll keep y'all posted. :)

6. Matthew is going to play Lacrosse in the winter. He can't wait. Matt (that's what the coaches call him) is very talented. He picks it up so quick and is fast on his feet. Which of course you have to be. He was going to wrestle but decided that he really didn't want to. The head coach is a friend of ours from football. He allowed the three boys to come out and try it. He enjoyed it but not enough to commit to it.

7. David tried Lacrosse and Wrestling. No go for either one. He said he wants to try Track and Field. So, this spring he is going to try Outdoor.

8. We have found out through much prayer, reading and at home tests that David is Dyslexic. It's not as scary as I thought. :) Now I wish that I would have caught it sooner but it is what it is. We have a few hard years with him regarding health issues. So really it's no wonder I didn't put 2 and 2 together. What I hold onto is that once I was able to focus solely on his education I found it. And two, God created him and this isn't a terrible thing. It's not really a disability as much as it is a difference.

9. I found a new awesome author, Dee Henderson. You can find her link on my sidebar. I've also been reading a lot about Dyslexia.

10. I have my scripture for this season in my life. Check out my sidebar. LOL

Well, I think that is it.

Hope you enjoyed the Big 2-0-0!

There's a stirring

2008-11-12T19:43:00.005-05:00

There is a stirring in my spirit. I can feel God moving inside of me. I believe that God is bringing me out of "just talking" to actual "some doing".

I so desire to serve women and families. I so desire to be there in the thick of things. I want to encourage women to love their husbands. I want to encourage moms to cherish their children. I want to encourage women to be good friends to one another.

I want to write about God's goodness, His justice, His mercy, His grace and yes, His wrath.

God gave me some time lines, some conditions if you will, about when I'm to do certain things. I have held those ideas loosely. Like a squirrel gathering nuts, I have tucked away things in my spirit here and there.

In my quiet times I have asked God "How can I, Lord?". "I'm not worthy of such a dream." I've questioned whether or not I have heard Him correctly. Surely this is me talking not Him.

I've had a couple of years of being planted firmly on my knees. I can't tell you the last time I actually stood, spiritually speaking. Can anyone relate?

But lately there has been a stirring. My spirit begins to jump when I think about the desires I have.

I realized recently that those "time lines", those "conditions" are about to come to fruition.

I must continue to be on my knees, continue to pray without ceasing. I must not get caught up with things that are of less importance. Satan knows it's coming and he is waging war against me. But I am not fighting this alone. I'm not even fighting it, really. God is victorious.

He is Jehovah Nissi.

Man! Have I been slacking off or what?

2008-11-09T21:25:00.003-05:00

I'm here and I am good.

I've been dealing with some rebellion. Not with the boys but with me.

Old habits have come back and I find myself just shaking my head in disgust. Tomorrow is a new day however I never change so sadly, tomorrow looks a lot like today.

Tonight after much praise and worship I have resolved myself to getting back on track. No more "trying". I am going to do it.

I'm going to bed early every night.

I'm going to wake up early every morning.

I'm going to read the Word every day.

I'm going to really pray every day. No flare prayers as my main discussion.

I'm going to focus on school Monday through Thursday.

There is probably a lot more things "I'm going" to do. So far this is just off the top of my head.

I just finished reading Daniel (again) but what stood out the most this time was the fact that he did his job and he did it well. Can I say the same thing? Not right this moment.

So, I'm going to change that.

2008-10-25T19:24:00.005-04:00

Today has been full and it's not over. I give God glory! I've been a busy little bee today.

David had a game at noon. We had to be there by 10:30. M and R had a Bye Week.

Watched an awesome game, of course!

Worked concessions afterwards for about an hour.

Went to Walmart with my mom, M and R. Bought groceries for the week. Hopefully! I have growing boys.

Came home, put groceries away and cleaned the downstairs.

Cleaned two litter boxes and a turtle's cage.

Listen to my husband as he fussed over the oil filter on his bike.

Made some coffee.

Going upstairs to get some laundry down. Maybe straightening up each boys room as I look for dirty clothes.

Finishing the Book of Daniel. Emailing my girlfriend to see if she is gonna post about it. ;)

Oh, I can't forget dinner! Tonight everyone just took care of them self. Which is awesome. Except I'm the last one to eat. :( LOL

Read some of my new book that I just got from the library yesterday.

Spend some time with my man and reconnect.

Go to bed.

Yes, I'm busy. Every day.

I was thinking about the Proverbs 31 gal. She was a busy girl. Part of being a woman of God is to be busy, in my opinion. It just depends on what your doing that makes it of God or not. When we are busy with housework, taking care of the kids, tending to our husbands then we are doing what God wants us to do. If we are just running around like chickens with our heads cut off then I think we are not.

Now, I have some days where it seems like I've been moving all day but have stayed in the same spot. You know? I have to watch for days like that.

I know that some days I need to just be still. Nothing wrong with that either.

However sometimes I think we Christians get it messed up. We think having 3 hours of complete quiet time with God is spiritual and on fire. But really it's doing this life for His glory. Its taking care of the things He has entrusted us to take care of. It's the loads of laundry with a joyful heart. It's hearing the fifteenth story from our kid and not rushing them to finish.

I think the Devil tells us that we should "Not have a spirit of busyness." But I'm not so sure. I mean no we shouldn't be all frazzled and freaking out. But isn't that really a different heart issue then "being busy"?

God has allotted so much time for us a day. We should fill it up with the things that are important for that day. Things that we should take care of. Things that are pleasing to the Lord.

Perhaps this post doesn't even make sense and it's probably too long but I just gotta say ...

Being busy isn't bad. As long as we are busy doing things that are pleasing to the Lord.

yada yada yada

2008-10-23T21:52:00.002-04:00

This is the part I don't understand. This is the part where I hold God's hand tighter.

JUST yesterday I told my girlfriend Bree that I may have some money for curriculum. No, we haven't bought anything yet. Just been doing it Old School. LOL Anyway.

I was very excited. I had posted some books on Craigslist and someone responded. Then I found a gentlemen who buys used textbooks. I emailed him. I felt very encouraged. I had a plan. I was going to sell some stuff and have money to buy the things I need. Things that I believe God told me to buy many months ago.

I even had a conversation with God about prioritizing the curriculum list. I would get the Language Arts stuff first then focus on actual math stuff at a later time.

By tonight everything went down hill. The lady texts me. She said that she couldn't get the books right now and to sell them to someone else. The guy emailed me back and said that he couldn't use the textbooks I had.

There went my plans. Now, I realize that "His ways are not our ways." I realize that the best way to make God laugh is to tell Him your plans.

Yada yada yada.

Seriously.

I felt my heart just sink in my chest. Stuff like this keeps happening. So close yet so far. Come here. No stay away. Take hold. Let go.

Over and over again. What am I missing?

Probably nothing.

I'm tired. My body aches. I know it's from stress. Monday night I went to bed crying because of back pain.

I haven't hurt this bad in years.

The pain is easing up since Tuesday. Glory!

I know that God is with us. I know that He is in charge. I am waiting on Him as patiently as I am able to. Which is actually a lot. I know things will turn around. God's word does not return void.

It's just harder some days then others.

I'm holding on to Psalm 16 which has been a favorite of mine for a couple of years now. Take a moment to read it here.

God bless and may He keep you safe.

Just a little something I said.

2008-10-17T14:12:00.004-04:00

A few months ago, notice that with me? It takes a while for things to process in my spirit before I can share with you.

Anyway, a few months ago I started reading a book. It was a good book. It flowed and made a lot of sense. I enjoyed the characters and story line. I giggled and smiled and totally understood the main character.

I read the book of 500 or so pages in three days.

I first found the book on another christian gals website. When I viewed the author's website I realized that the author is a Mormon. Okay, well, I thought to myself that this wasn't exactly Christian fiction. Then I discovered that the book was being made into a movie. So I viewed the trailer. Oh, vampires. Well, there goes that.

However, like I said, I read the book in three days. Why? Because another girlfriend had the book. I got caught up. Yes, 31 years old and I got caught up in the excitement of a "good book" and a "movie night" with a girlfriend.

When I first read the book I did feel God ask me "Why are you reading this young lady?" I had no real answer. See, God had told me about 5 years or so ago to stop all things related to scary stuff. Like demonic movies and stories.

I know how real this stuff is. I've seen somethings in my time. For now, I'll leave it at that.

So I did. It was right before Oct 31, 2003. I haven't seen anything since. No desire to. I haven't read anything since. No desire to ... until a few months ago.

Like I said I read the book. In my spirit I knew I wasn't right. So I talked to my dear friend Bree. She asked me a lot of open ended questions. I got the message that I should leave it alone although she never said it specifically. :)

But I didn't. I started reading the next book.

I didn't read it with as much hunger for the pages. I read to about chapter 10 or 11. We went up to Bo's motorcycle mechanic (about 3 hours away) one weekend. I forgot the book. God used that time to really drive home to me that I should not be reading this series. I was a bit sad. There's the fight with flesh.

When I got home I rationalized my continuing reading because "Hey, I should finish the book. If I still feel this way then I won't read the last two."

I'm still having a conversation with the Holy Spirit when I open the book to the next chapter.

I read the title of the chapter. A broad smile came to my face.

"Okay Lord, I get it. I get it."

The title was "Cult".

I closed the book.

Now the question in my mind was how do I tell my friend. How do I let her know that I can't read this series because, well, it's demonic. It's an open door into my house for Satan to walk through. Add that to my family's history, I'm just messing with fire.

So my friend called to see if I was done with the second book. I said yes and said she could come over any time to get it. When she came over I handed her all the books. The whole conversation was like 2 minutes long. I told her that I couldn't read them anymore. She apologized for putting a stumbling block in my path. I assured her that wasn't the case. She didn't do anything wrong. I had simply walked away from my post.

Now, here we are a month or so later. A mom of a little boy from Ryan's team and I are good field friends. Our boys have been on a team together for two years. We both love to read. So we share a lot of authors and titles with each other. I had mentioned to her about the books but only that I thought they were great. I didn't share with her my struggles. I didn't tell her about giving the books back or anything I was going through.

She is an eleventh grade teacher. One day she asked me what I thought of the series because she has noticed that just about all her students are obsessed with the books. She said that during their free time in her class they are acting out parts. Groups of them refer to one other by the names of the characters.

I was sad.

She asked me if it was worth reading so that she could "keep up" with them.

I told her no. Well, what I actually said was this, "I didn't finish the second book because I was convicted by God that these books are not appropriate."

Her response: "Oh."

Me: "I mean, you know, they are about vampires."

That was the end. Something happened that was awesome on the field which got our attention.

We have never discussed the books again.

It's been a month or so since that conversation. I have no idea if she is reading the books. She hasn't brought any to practice. We've since discussed other books and authors.

I don't know where my field friend is with God but I'm sure she may understand where I am.

It was just a little something I said.

Week 7

2008-10-13T14:25:00.003-04:00

I can't believe that we are starting on our 7th week of school. Consistent school work. I am a bit shocked. Honestly. Even though we started in the fall of 2003. So this is our 6th year. Is that right? I've been telling people 5. LOL. Let's count it out ... 03/04 is one, 04/05 is two, 05/06 is three, 06/07 is four, 07/08 is five, and this year ... Yeah, that's 6. WOW!

I suppose those of you who don't really know me all that well might be surprised that I am surprised.

In the past years I have really struggled with homeschooling. Not whether or not to homeschool but the actually "doing" of homeschool. It is tough. It is not for sissies! Over the past few years I have struggled with curriculum choices. I would buy the wrong thing, I'm sure you homeschool mamas can relate. But then I would either 1. not have any money left to buy what I needed or 2. become paralyzed for fear of wasting our money. Such a trap and strong hold.

But this year God has made the choices fairly easy. He has told me, confirmed, re-confirmed, and told me again. I praise God for the clarity.

I don't have the curricula yet. That's okay. It's in His timing. I know that I don't need to curriculum yet. The beauty of homeschool :)

Here is what I have been learning while waiting on Him.

That I am capable of piecing together things.
That I have some creativity.
I don't need a set curricula to "do school"
When focused and in a good mood, school only last about an hour and a half per kid.

God has broken my notions that I "can't do it". I can. There has been some tweaking along the way these past 7 weeks but it is all for His glory. Don't get me wrong. I know God has told us what to use but it's the mindset and heart attitude that He has been dealing with me about.

Here is our schedule, roughly. All subject to the Holy Spirit and PMS.

I wake up around 6:15, yes in the morning!
Devotions, prayers and coffee with Bo by 6:45. Yes, it takes me about 20 minutes to make myself get up.
Boys start coming down stairs about 7:30.
Breakfast, chit-chat with boys, emails and more coffee by 8:30.
Lessons usually start between 8:30 and 9.
Each kid one on one for about an hour and a half. While I'm working with one the other two are reading, using flash cards, maybe some math, or just doing something quiet.
Lunch at noon.
School with the last boy ends about 1 or 1:30.
The rest of the day is open. Some days we go past 1:30ish because of extra stuff like learning about the different states or perhaps we read some books together.
We have co-op on Tuesdays so our "school day" doesn't end until 3.
School is Monday through Thursday. Friday is for sleeping in (boys), field trips and all day long playing with Bo, if he is home.

It is awesome. There is so much peace in our school day. Imagine that!

By George, I think I'm gettin' it.

What's my Harley-Davidson black purse say about me?

2008-10-12T21:14:00.002-04:00

What Your Handbag Says About You

You tend to be relaxed throughout the day. You are naturally at peace.

You are open and comfortable with who you are. You don't hide anything.

You are an organized and together person. You are competent and successful.

You are practical and down to earth. You tend to be a rather reserved and quiet person.

What Does Your Handbag Say About You?

Organized and together ... Hmmm, that is a nice thought. LOL

Tagged

2008-10-09T18:30:00.003-04:00

I was tagged, by my friend Maricar, like a week ago! See what happens when you are busy in real life! LOL

Okay, so I skipped football practice to catch up on laundry. So I'm going to play along while I wait for the washer.

Okay, first the rules ....
Link the tagger and these rules on your blog.
Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a message on their blog.

Here are my 7 random facts.

1. I absolutely LOVE talk radio!

2. I make anywhere from 2 to 5 lists a day. Always updated and adding. I make new ones so that my paper is nice and neat looking.

3. I do not like to write with blue pens. I will do it but I don't care for it.

4. I am my mom's only child, my Dad's third child, and because my dad was married to my step mom for 25 plus years, my step sisters are really my sisters ... I am the youngest of 5. Did I confuse you?

5. I think receiving (in the mail) hand written letters or cards are just about the coolest thing.

6. With all three of my pregnancies I prayed for a boy. I explained to God why I wasn't comfortable having a daughter. However, I left the choice up to Him. LOL He knew my heart, He knew where I was in my life, He knew what I could and couldn't handle. Apparently, He agreed with me.

7. I truly, truly enjoy getting older. BTW ... my birthday is coming up in 63 days.

Okay, so now I have to tag 7 people. We'll see how close I get to that number. LOL I read a lot of blogs but don't the girls personally enough to "tag" them. So I picked 5 :)
Bree, Sarah, Lori, Shelby and Lisa :)

2008-10-06T14:40:00.003-04:00

Bo and I have come up with a plan to get out of debt. We know that it is God's will for us, all of us, not to be in debt. Please partner with us in prayer. Thank you so much Prayer Warriors!

Please let me know if I can pray with you. You may leave a comment which will not be private. :) Or you may email me (link on the side) which I will keep private. Of course if you want your need to be posted but without personal detail I will do that too. Just let me know.

God Bless!

I'm here!

2008-10-03T10:16:00.002-04:00

I'm here. Really I am.

God has been moving so mightily in my life that it has left me speechless.
I'm reaping a harvest in my life. All I can say right now is that God is faithful. His Word is truth. Stand firm and be on your knees.

Matthew 6:33
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

I have all intentions of posting regularly again. Just keep checking back. :)

Psalm 127

2008-09-24T13:24:00.003-04:00

Unless the LORD builds the house,

its builders labor in vain.

Unless the LORD watches over the city,

the watchmen stand guard in vain.

In vain you rise early

and stay up late,

toiling for food to eat-

for he grants sleep to those he loves.

Sons are a heritage from the LORD,

children a reward from him.

Like arrows in the hands of a warrior

are sons born in one's youth.

Blessed is the man

whose quiver is full of them.

They will not be put to shame

when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

a bit of catch up

2008-09-18T14:00:00.003-04:00

We have been doing so well with school which is why I haven't been posting! A well worth trade off.

I wanted to catch y'all up on football. LOL Yes, it is important you know what is going on!

Okay, this Saturday is game 4. Season is almost over. I am a bit sad, honestly. What happened to games 2 and 3 ... well, let me explain.

Game 2 was cancelled because of Hurricane Hanna. Who, by the way, didn't bother to really show up. Yeah, the wind blow and we did get some showers but that was it. Oh well. We spent the day steam cleaning our carpet and having our monthly fight night. So all was not lost. The make-up game will be November 1. I tell ya what, we were sooo looking forward to it. It's a game between our city's two teams! The other team took out an ad in our newspaper saying things like "They (the Knights) think they can set up in our city and beat us! We're playing for territory!" So needless to say we were fired up.

The third game was hot! It was the hottest day so far in September. Oh well. That's the price ya pay. Matthew's team won 20-0! They were so excited. Matthew made some great plays. It was wonderful. David's team suffered their first loss. The score was 21-6. It was sad. Ryan's team won too! Their score was 21-7. We found out at the last game that Ryan's first game was messed up. The refs were using flag football rules. Poor little guys. So now we know when things/penalties don't seem right we are going to ask the refs what rules they are using.

Okay so Junior Pee Wee (JPW) is 1-1
Mitey Mite 1 (MM1) is 1-1
Tiney Mite 1 (TM1) is 1-0-1 or 2-0 if you don't count the first game as a tie but win because the TM team actually scored a touch down but the REFS(!) took those points away.

This week the temp is suppose to be around 75*. I'm very happy. Matthew's team is having a pool party after their game. I'm taking M so that Bo won't miss R's game. He missed the first one. If it wouldn't have been a pool party I would have just sent M on his own. But a pool? Too risky for us. M and I should get back in time to watch D's game.

Okay, so now you know. :)

GO KNIGHTS!!

Commandment number 4

2008-09-11T23:09:00.003-04:00

Exodus 20:8-11

Many of us know this one. Thou shalt keep the Sabbath holy. Basically it says that no one should be doing anything. That everyone should be resting. What does that mean?

I used to think that it meant I couldn't do anything. Well, of course I was breaking that commandment. Then I realized that God didn't rest because He was tired. He rested because He wanted to reflect on what He had created. He wanted to take a break and enjoy it all.

For Israel it was meant for them to stop everything. To eat left overs and give the help off. For us, I believe, it is for us to enjoy all that God has granted us. It's a means to shut out the world and enjoy a peaceful time with God.

I don't believe that God only wants the 'Sabbath' day. He wants us to do that every chance we get. God, our Creator, wants us to reflect daily on His goodness. He wants you to tell Him how beautiful the sunset is or how the sound of a child laughing brings a smile to your face. He wants to know that you have looked around and saw that 'it is good'.

The whole point about taking time to rest is that we are to rest in God. It's not just about ceasing from physical labor but a heart attitude focused on Christ.

Take some time to rest. God is waiting.

*previously posted sometime in 2006 :) Sorry about being MIA.

No pics :(

2008-09-02T11:31:00.004-04:00

Well I totally forgot to take pictures of the boys' games. However, here is the run down.

We had to have Matthew on the field at noon for his 1:30 game. It was the hottest day of August this year. There was no shade except for under the bleachers. We had plenty of water and sunscreen. Both David and Ryan were also dressed out because David's game was at 3:30 on the same field. He had to report to his coaches at 2. Ryan's game was on another field, in a different city, at 4:15. He had to be on field at 3. So, yes I missed half of M's game and all of D's. But it's okay. We worked it all out last year so we are used to some games this way.

Thank God for cell phones.

Matthew's team was strong. They kept the offence from scoring but so did the other team. There were a few minutes left in the game when out of nowhere the other team scored 3 touch downs!! We couldn't believe it. Final 21-0 Saints

I had to leave half-time of M's game to get R to his game. We have to be on the field early for weigh-ins and warm up.

Here is the report from D's team. The score was 0-0 until the fourth quarter. During the third quarter it poured the rain. Which, in case you didn't know, FOOTBALL PLAYERS PLAY IN THE RAIN! So everyone was so excited. The final score 13-7! Knights

R's game was a bit cooler. Plus I found shade. :) He had a couple of awesome tackles. He also ran the ball far down the field. He can't wait to get his stickers. The coach is giving stickers out to the kids that make great plays. He'll get a few cross bones for the tackles and a couple of footballs for running it. Final 0-0

I'm very proud of them. Our family enjoys football so much. I must tell you that my chest swells with pride when other coaches, from other teams, know who my boys are. It makes my kids' chest swell up when the other coaches from opposing teams know their names.

All three boys play on both sides of the ball.

Well, there is the update! I'm sorry I didn't have pics. This Saturday they are all on the same field so no running around. I will try to get some great pictures. I don't have a camera that zooms in though. :( But if the boys are featured on the website I will link you up!

Butterflies

2008-08-30T09:34:00.002-04:00

Everyone in my house has butterflies today!

We are getting ready to head out to the first games!!

WOO HOO

GO KNIGHTS!

Random stuff ...

2008-08-25T23:46:00.003-04:00

Okay so I just have some random thoughts running through my head. There is no value, at least that I can tell, but I will share non the less. :O)

1. The boys' first game is this Saturday. You can not believe the excitement around here. They had their Jamboree last Saturday and it was a blast. We were out on the field for 9.5, yes nine point five, hours. Yes, I have sunburn on my face, neck, ankles and even my lips. Nope I didn't wear sunblock.

2. School starts soon and no we are not ready. It's been hard to sit and focus on the placement tests for the new curriculum. I'm not letting that discourage me.

3. I'm praying that my curriculum will arrive shortly after I place my order.

4. Yep, you read that right. I haven't ordered it yet.

5. I had a freak out moment today. It's been happening a lot more lately. Bo said something that stopped me in my tracks. He truly is listening to God more then he realizes. Anyway, he said
"You know how in the Bible it says that you can't lead a church if you can't lead your home?" Me "Yeah, but what does my life have to do with church?!" I say in tears. Bo "Well, your kids are your ministry. You can not lead your children if you can not lead yourself."

6. I wrote that on a piece of paper and taped it to my bathroom mirror.

7. I am thoroughly enjoying my devotional blog with my three dearest friends. We are studying the OT prophets right now. We started at the back of the book and are working our way up. The insight these gals have is inspiring and amazing. It tickles me to see how different we are. I seem to be the one who analyzes every verse and am always saying "Oh that speaks to Christ's first coming." or " Oh I think we are given a glimpse into His return."

8. I obeyed God about something. Not ready to share just yet.

9. My kids (particularly Matthew) are really interested in this presidential election. It's been a great way to discuss God and leaders.

10. I found out just recently that David is a bit unnerved by spiders. It was cute. We were working in the garden together. When he moved a stone there was a spider. He jumped back and then yelled, while jumping on it, "Kill it! Kill it!" I told him it was just a harmless spider. He said "Oh I know. I just wanted to do it." So I dismissed it. But after the third one that he jumped on I realized that he was not to keen on them. Oh another clue was when he said "I think spiders are creepy." LOL

11. There was a hawk on my neighbor's fence the other day. It was beautiful. I didn't take a picture because I didn't want to scare it. I only have a camera on my phone. :) The next day we saw it flying around our neighborhood with some crows. The boys and I thought that was kind of odd.

12. Bo gets his Harley back this weekend. We are driving up after the boys' games. We'll camp out at Danny's, his mechanic, and will camp, cook-out, and enjoy the mountains. I'm very excited and happy for him. Dream come true.

13. I'm sitting here waiting for my BFF to call me back. It's just after 9 at night her time ... I may give her a ring back so she'll know I'm still up. Waiting.

14. I'm really excited about the Fireproof movie.

15. It's late and I should go to bed. Or call Tina.

Hey Lisa!

2008-08-24T09:21:00.003-04:00

136

As a 1930s husband, I am
Very Superior

Take the test!

Well, it looks like I may need to step up my game! Bo is a better 1930s hubby then I am wife. ;)

Fireproof

2008-08-22T15:45:00.004-04:00

I can't wait for this movie to come out. Check out more about it at fireproofmymarriage.com

Make sure you turn off the music on my sidebar. Spread the word on your blog!

I'm average and I am okay with it.

2008-08-21T15:47:00.003-04:00

As a 1930s wife, I am
Average

Take the test!

Well, I would have been an average housewife in the 1930s. I'm okay with it! LOL You can also have your hubby take the test. I wonder how Bo will do. I'll let you know if/when he takes it.

brain test (no, not checking if I have one!)

2008-08-19T09:45:00.004-04:00

So I took this little brain test that I found at The Preacher's Wife. Here are my results ...

Terri, you are somewhat left-hemisphere dominant and show a preference for visual learning, although not extreme in either characteristic. You probably tend to do most things in moderation, but not always. Well, that sounds about right.

Your left-hemisphere dominance implies that your learning style is organized and structured, detail oriented and logical. Your visual preference, though, has you seeking stimulation and multiple data. Such an outlook can overwhelm structure and logic and create an almost continuous state of uncertainty and agitation. You may well suffer a feeling of continually trying to "catch up" with yourself. You bet I do!

Your tendency to be organized and logical and attend to details is reasonably well-established which should afford you success regardless of your chosen field of endeavor. You can "size up" situations and take in information rapidly. However, you must then subject that data to being classified and organized which causes you to "lose touch" with the immediacy of the problem. I'd say that is right.

Your logical and methodical nature hamper you in this regard though in the long run it may work to your advantage since you "learn from experience" and can go through the process more rapidly on subsequent occasions.
You remain predominantly functional in your orientation and practical. Abstraction and theory are secondary to application. In keeping with this, you focus on details until they manifest themselves in a unique pattern and only then work with the "larger whole." So true!

With regards to your career choices, you have a mentality that would be good as a scientist, coach, athlete, design consultant, or an engineering technician. You can "see where you want to go" and even be able to "tell yourself," but find that you are "fighting yourself" at the darnedest times. Oooh ... so true! Only the scientist and engineer sound good to me LOL. I have told Bo before that if I had chosen a career other then wife and mama it would have been in criminal forensics. I would have loved to be a detective even.

Y'all should take the test and let me know what you come up with. I love little fun stuff like this. If you find any good ones ... let me know.

Busy little girl!

2008-08-15T11:25:00.002-04:00

Here I am on the computer when really there are things that should be done.

This weekend is going to be so fun and busy that I really don't have a moment to tell y'all about it. But since I want to tell y'all about it ... I will just have to hustle when I'm done.

So here is my list of things, errands to run and fun to do. :)

Friday:
*Clean up the house including the boys cleaning up their rooms.
Bo's baby sister Ashley is in town. She is planning on meeting us up at football practice and then head over to our home. However if they, her, her man and her son don't then they are coming tomorrow. Anyway, moving on.
*I have to hit Wal-Mart for some light groceries and party stuff.
*Football at 6.

Saturday:
*Pancake Breakfast for the Chesapeake Knights! We are to be there at 7:30 in the morning. :) Of course my brain won't realize anything until after 9! The boys are so excited about it. The coaches are cooking the food. Applebees up the road is hosting it for us. I think that is cool.
*Ashley and company between 11 -1p.
*Birthday party for the boys' friend, Jacob. 1:30-3:30p
*David's sleep over birthday party at 4p. I think there will be 11 or so boys here. Yes, I have ear plugs on my list. LOL Just teasing.

Sunday:
*Kids get picked by 10a. I hope. LOL
*Busch Gardens with Ashley and her family.

Perhaps Monday it will rain. If it rains in the morning I can sleep in because Bo will be home ... That would be nice.

Energized

2008-08-13T09:52:00.005-04:00

I feel energized! I am getting really excited about this upcoming school year. I feel confident about the curriculum I have chosen. Tomorrow evening I have a steering meeting for co-op. My house has been cleaned out and organized. The boys are doing awesome in football. We (more Bo then me) moved his shop back home. Getting back to basics. Somewhere on here is a pic of his work truck and trailer, just cause I took the picture. :) Feels like old times, good times, simple times. We are so excited. When you walk in God's Will, you just know.

There are still things I need/would like to accomplish before school actually starts. Like finishing the three books I'm reading, and taking the placement tests for the new curriculum. I also need to finish my garden. Man is that hard and time consuming work! We'll get it done. I'm confident in that. :)

OH! I have to brag about the weather here. Usually we have temps over 100 with heat indexes of 110 or higher. The air doesn't move and it's very thick. It's miserable. Grown men cry. Bo adjusts his schedule from 7a-5p is to 4a-2p ish. The boys go out and play in 10 minute increments. It's just terrible. Our electric bill is the highest in August.

No so right now my friend! We have had temps in the low 90s with very low humidity!! One day it didn't get higher then 85! Get out of here! I have actually had the windows opened in the mornings. I love fresh air. The breeze (can you believe we have had a breeze?!) has been nice and cool. Football has been so wonderful. I've actually been able to sit out and enjoy it instead of retreating to my van with the AC running and praying for the boys. Sorry for all the !s I'm just so excited about the weather! ;)

The first night of practice I told some parents that I am praying that God gives us great weather. They were like "Umm, okay." But every night they say to me "I can not believe this weather!" I say " I know, God sure is blessing us today!"

God is so good and I feel great! :) Now, to go open the windows up again this morning!

Chip away

2008-08-09T08:35:00.004-04:00

I can not tell you how many years my husband's loving advice to me has been "Chip away."

Me: Honey, I am so overwhelmed with school.
Bo: Do a little at a time. Chip away at it.

Me: Sweetheart, this house is such a mess. I don't even know where to start.
Bo: Start in one room and do a little at a time. Just chip away at it.

You get the message. We have had so many of these conversations over the past 11 years that I find myself saying those words not only to myself but to close friends who call me up overwhelmed with their life. I smile to myself as I say "Bo always says to chip away at it."

I have learned to chip away at things. However it seems like I could never get small pieces out of the chunk. So even though I started off well and good, I soon became overwhelmed again. Some times I wouldn't finish the job at all.

This week though something happened. Between much prayer, over many years, Bo's gentle advice to "chip away" and God's Divine Grace, I figured out something!

Monday I just couldn't take it any more. You know, our unorganized, clutter, broken toy infested house anymore! Of course, with tears in my eyes, I went to Bo.

"Chip away Sweetheart. Baby steps."

With a fresh cup of coffee in my hand I sat down with pen and paper. A master list. That's what I needed. So I wrote out all the things I would like to accomplish before school started. Then I prioritized the list. I thought that it was silly to have the boys take their placement tests if the table was completely covered in stuff. So I decided that de-cluttering, re-organizing, and taking care of little messes was the best place to start.

Next I made a smaller list for each day. I took one to three things from the master list and put them on each day. Depending on how large the job was. I also put on my every day list my every day stuff.

So here is what my week has looked like ...

Tuesday - Ryan's closet, keep up on house, laundry, straighten up my room, football at 6p.
Wednesday - Ryan's room, keep up on house, laundry, football at 6p.
Thursday - Matthew and David's room, keep up on house, football at 6p.
Friday - Toy closet, clean house, put pads in practice pants, football at 6p.

The items in bold I was not able to do. Oh well. On Thursday I simply ran out of time. Friday my plans were changed. My girlfriend from co-op emailed me saying that she had some flowers from her garden for me. She had yellow cannas and liriops. So after the toy closet I ran to her house. While on my way my best friend called. I sat at my co-op friend, Kim's driveway for 30 minutes talking with Tina. Then I sat for another 20 minutes at Kim's table chatting with her. By the time I got back home it was after 2 and the boys were home from Grandma's house. So all I did was clean up my kitchen and get their pads together.

I am not upset. I simply put the unfinished items from Friday onto Saturday's list. I had planned on helping Bo clean out our garage. However, I need to get our house in order. He agreed.

Here is my list for today ...
Clean the house
-Kitchen - just straighten up from breakfast.
-Dinning room - straighten and de-clutter
-Living room - straighten up, put stuff away
-Scrub all the bathrooms
-Straighten up my room
-Straighten up hallway - get all the toys in their proper homes in the toy closet
-Get trash taken out from my cleaning up
-Laundry
Help Bo with garage - if needed
Clean up our garden
-Weed it
-Plant my new perennials. I now have yellow cannas, liriops, and orange lilies. I will have to post a picture of our garden. :P God has blessed me with so much. If the plants I have weren't free then they were only $0.99! Like my purple (favorite color!) bush. It was only $0.99! Last year we bought flowers and bulbs from Home Depot. Even though we only spent about 20 bucks it was still a lot of money to me. So I prayed that God would send me deals. I asked Him to help me to realize I can do a little at a time. I didn't need an award winning garden right out the gate. Boy did He ever! I am so blessed by Him in so many different ways. I found out a few months back that bulbs can take up to 3 years to bloom. So I'm curious as to what my garden will look in the next few summers! I honestly can't remember what we planted. My desire is in the next few years to be able to bless other gardeners with my overflow. God is good!

I'm excited. I have more time today because there is no practice. Next week I will worry about next week. :)

The Big 9

2008-08-05T22:03:00.005-04:00

Well today is finally David's 9th birthday! It seems that his birthday takes so long to come around. He was so excited today. David couldn't wait until he got to the field to let his coaches know.

David is a lot like me. It's a wonder that we don't have bruises from all our head butting. LOL He is my peace maker and reserved one. But don't let that fool you, he can be just as crazy as the rest of them.

When he was a little guy, around 4 or 5, he used to say "Oh the pain, the house!" LOL Not sure where he got that from but when ever the house (Bo and all the boys) got rowdy he would say it. It just cracks me up!

He has done so much growing this past year. I'm very proud of him. Between his physical growth and mental growth no one that meets us believes he is the middle and that he is (now) nine.

HAPPY 9th BIRTHDAY DAVID!

What in the world?!

2008-08-03T17:27:00.003-04:00

I received an email a few days ago from Blogger that said my site was blocked. Not only that but it would be deleted in 20 days! I had to request to have my blog reviewed. I didn't trust the email so when I checked out my Dashboard, sure enough, it was blocked.

The reason it was blocked was for spam. Apparently Blogger has a program that scans all the blogs for spam. The computer program flagged my blog. So it put a hold on it until I requested the review or 20 days pass in which case it would be deleted.

So I requested the review. What Blogger does is have a real person click on the blog and check it out. If that person finds no spam or other things that are in violation of the Terms of Service then they unlock it.

So, here I am. Unlocked! :) At first I was a bit upset. I thought that my blog would be deleted. Then I thought what if God is using this blog to touch that person. Wouldn't that be cool? Talk about a Divine appointment.

Well, that's it. I was going to post about football (with pics) but I was blocked and I forgot to get pics at the first couple of practices. LOL This week I should have something.

It's crunch time around here. I want the boys' rooms, my closet, the toy closet, and our homeschool closet cleaned out well. I want to have the placement tests done (for the new curriculum I've chosen, more to come on that). I also want to finish a few good books. All before school starting which is going to be September 2. I have already discussed it with the boys. They think it's cool that their first football game is before school starting. I do too. :) I'm a sucker for the boys playing it.

Till tomorrow or the next day ...

Head First (Coffee and a View)

2008-07-30T23:12:00.001-04:00

Head (no pun) over to my sweet friend Lisa's blog.

my Beloved

2008-07-29T23:35:00.002-04:00

Today is my Beloved's birthday. This is the 11th birthday that we have shared together. I'm honored.

It was just after midnight last night when we went to bed. I looked at the time, snuggled up to him and in my best southern draw said "Happy berday Sweetheart. Ur til as perty as the day I marred ewe."

Well, it was funny to us. :)

Bo, you are an amazing man. I am so blessed to have spent all these birthdays with you. I pray that God allows me to spend a million more. I thank God for you every day. We've had some pretty bad storms in our life but I wouldn't want any one else to share my umbrella. You are sexy, funny, kind, sweet, smart, hardworking, bull headed (or wait, that's me), handsome, really the list goes on. You are the first person I think about in the morning, the last on my mind at night, the man I dream about, and the one I share my heart with.
YOU ARE STILL THE ONE!
Happy 32nd Birthday!

I'm sorry your bike wasn't back from Danny's. I know you would have loved to have been riding tonight. Soon Babe, soon.

Growing up (homeschool blog)

2008-07-24T09:44:00.002-04:00

God is really calling me this year to growing up. Honestly.
The curricula that God has chosen requires me to be very hands on with the boys. Something in the past I haven't cherished. Don't misunderstand me. I have cherished the boys and I love playing with them but being serious and homeschooling, well, I have struggled.
I'm excited about what God is doing in my life. We have come so far together. It has been a privilege and an honor to be His daughter.
Something happened today that still brings tears to my eyes. Perhaps you won't understand but I am going to share any way! :)
I have been praying off and on for God to bring to us (the boys and I) some friends. We have great friends but they either have moved, don't homeschool, or have younger kids. I wanted to find a mom who homeschooled and had boys around my boys' ages. Oh yeah, and a mom who didn't mind meeting up twice or so a month.
Another thing I was praying about was a co-op of sorts. Now, co-ops scare me. I don't want to teach and I don't want to spend money. I have heard of some where you help out where you can like cleaning or organizing emails. Now, that doesn't seem so bad but I know that could quickly overwhelm my family time. So that is not really an option ... at this time.
Well, I received an email from this mom who has four boys. She and I have never met but she saw on one of my yahoo groups that I have three boys. Her kids are 11(almost 12), 9 (10 next month), 7 (just turned) and 5 (in two weeks). Can y'all believe it? Not only that but she teaches with her girlfriend a co-op. So we arranged to meet at the park. She lives just about 10 - 15 minutes away from me. I had express that I wasn't interested in a co-op but I would love to get her boys together with mine. Also, that I was looking for some fellowship too.
I kept praying all week that this would answer my prayer concerning friendships.
Today we met. It was so nice. We are very like-minded. From discipline, homeschooling and basically life in general. It was nice and refreshing. We talked about all sorts of things. Of course we kept coming back to homeschooling. She explained all about the co-op. She patiently answered my questions. Basically I just need to show up. ;) She teaches science (which Matthew has been begging me to do other then read books and go to the museum). Her friend teaches Virginia History. It's from 1 - 3p on Tuesdays. For the younger kids another mom is going to do history and science stuff with some crafts for about 15 to 20 minutes each hour. The rest of the time will be play time or coloring. She said that there are 3 other moms who come and hang out. And get this ... they ALL drink coffee! LOL She said that she is a huge coffee nut (or should I say bean? :)) and has all the fancy creamers! That sealed the deal for me!
Seriously though, my spirit was quickened. I knew that God has answered my prayer. And that of my boys. He is so awesome. I am so excited about this.
I'm not all sure what is going to come out of this friendship and co-op but I know I am going to be blessed. Who knows maybe in a few months I will tell y'all about how I am teaching the younger ones. :)
God has a way of growing us up. A way of stretching us. A way of answering us.
This year is going to be huge for me. I can feel it deep in my bones. I can't wait. For I know that if He has ordained it, it can only bring me pleasure and peace. Even if some things are hard and I want to give up, I know that I know it is all for His glory!

The Lord spoke to me :) (homeschool blog)

2008-07-24T09:38:00.001-04:00

I had an interesting conversation with God this week. My spirit was quicken suddenly one day while talking to (at) my children.

God: "You used to never speak that way."

Me: "What way?"

God: "This way. This "just cause I said so" way."

Me: "What?"

God: "You used to explain things to them. You always had a reason for your actions or your discipline. You always made sure they understood things."

Me: "Well, sometimes it is "just because I said so."

God: "Yes, there are times that you can use your Mommy trump card but you were always so careful with it."

Me: "And now?"

God: "And now you play it almost all the time. Not only that but you are not as soft with your tone or words. When you call their names, you are a bit harsh. They tend to feel like they have done something wrong when it's really just lunch time."

Me: "Oh."

So, I have repented. I have repented to God and to my boys. I have changed it too. There is a loving mommy sweetness to my voice. I am now taking the time to explain things again. I'm calmer. I reason when needed and rebuke when needed. I'm quick to check my attitude before I say something. Thank you Lord.

Heavenly Father, thank You for Your kind words of rebuke. Thank You for loving me and showing me. These boys are precious. May my thoughts, words and deeds be pleasing to Your sight. Quicken me sweet Lord. Pull me close and share with me what is on Your heart for my home. Glory to You my Savior. Thank You for the gift of the Holy Spirit. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Some good advice (homeschool blog)

2008-07-24T09:33:00.002-04:00

The past two days God has brought to me some good advice.

First thing was yesterday. I was having 'one of those days'. I called my husband to tell him that I am just a failure at homeschooling. Tears streaming down my face, I explained all the ways I just blew it. In his loving way he said "Take a deep breath. You are not a failure. I think you should make a list of things you feel is wrong. Then make a list of how those things should be like. Next make another list of the ways you are going to change those areas."

What a great idea I thought. I love lists. :) Maybe putting things down on paper instead of them rolling around in my head ... well, I just may see the mole hill.

The boys and I went to the library before our co-op meeting. I was getting some books on Charlotte Mason. I stumbled upon this book; Homeschooling Take a Deep Breath - You Can Do This! by Terrie Lynn Bittner. Too funny I thought. So I added that to our pile.

This morning I was on the phone with my sweet friend Bree. I was explaining yesterday and what Bo had said to do. She then added that I should write a list every day of the things we did do. Like yesterday at the library I taught the boys how to locate the non-fiction books by using the call letters. She felt that basically I focus on what I haven't checked off and totally forget the things that 'just happen'.

So this evening I am reading that book by Mrs. Bittner. Listen to this ...She encourages keeping a homeschool journal. Every evening list the things that went right in the day. Start with the good stuff first because you could become discouraged! LOL Then she said that you can't write more negative stuff then you have written about positive stuff. For example, if you write 5 good things then you can't write more then 5 bad things. Next Terrie says to circle what you feel worries you the most and what you are most proud of. Take the good thing, write it on a index card or sticky note, and post it some where. After that you should come up with a solution for the problem. Isn't that neat?

She also said that you should word the problem correctly. Instead of saying that 'I have a terrible temper'. You should say 'I became upset when Jason dawdled during math.' Terrie said that you can't change your personal temper tantrum from earlier but you can think of a solution for the child who dawdles.

I thought that was so enlightening. Think about it ... my/your 'bad temper' is so vague and encompasses so much more then one issue. But looking at the event, the child who dawdles, it's easier to put into perspective.

It's funny to me looking back over the summer to now. God has been calling me to read, read and read in regards to homeschooling and now He is calling to me write, write and write. Perfect timing and nothing out of order. May His name be praised!

back to basics (homeschool blog)

2008-07-24T09:30:00.001-04:00

Well, it seems to be that time of the year where I throw my hands up in the air and declare that I am failing.

Praise God for wonderful friends who are willing to listen. Thank you Lord for my friend Bree who doesn't mind telling me what to do!

I was complaining to Bree that one of my children is not really reading. One child wants to read but I'm not doing anything with it. Oh and another child should/could be reading more but I never push the issue.

So, in her wisdom, which truly does come from the Lord, said that I needed to take a week with the child who isn't reading and focus on phonics. Make sure he understands his sounds. Do little worksheets that enforce what he is learning.

Then she said that I just need to have the youngest read. Same with the oldest. LOL She used more tact then that but basically, yeah, I need to stop being so lazy. My words ... not hers.

So that was my plan. Bo was going out of town Wednesday morning and I thought "PERFECT!" I don't have to worry about any set times because 'Daddy' won't be coming home. So if we just have hot dogs and pop corn for dinner then great. :) If we are still doing lessons at 7 at night then great. :)

So that was my plan. That is as far as it got. However, all was not lost. We played Rummy all day. We all took turns being the score keeper. We all took turns announcing the scores after each hand. We laughed. We snacked on pop corn, cheese and crackers and drank a lot of Kool-aid.

Hey, come on, you know you can't beat that!

Today the boys were at my mom's. I used this time to organize some things and pray. I really spilled everything to Him today. I feel refreshed. I know that things are not as they seem. In my Bible study, which is on the power of speech, God revealed to me how I still have some areas of my thought life that is in ruins.

I do believe that is why there is a block with homeschooling. It's not that I am lazy (sure, sometimes I am) or that I am selfish with my time (well, sometimes I am) it's more about my thoughts. I don't believe I am capable of doing this. So "why bother" becomes a nagging banner hanging in my brain. Or "I can't do this" is the only phrase I can hear.

Glory to God though! I am taking my thoughts captive. I am tucking the lies under the belt of truth. Lining it up with God's Word. If it doesn't match then it is a lie and I will not tolerate it. Glory!

So ... how about you? Ever had the urge to get back to the basics in life?

Only a few days of July left

2008-07-23T11:15:00.004-04:00

Where does the time go? Who comes and snatches it away?

This summer has been so relaxing. I really have enjoyed it. However now that it's almost August I sense that anxious feeling trying to rise up. Deadlines are starting to creep into my calendar. Appointments for various things need to be made. Projects that should be done by the first of the school year are just words on a paper. Football season starts this Monday.

I find myself wanting to hide in a good book. I find myself fighting with my flesh. My flesh wants to curl up with a great cup of coffee, a book, a telephone (so I don't have to get up) and just escape. I want the TV to babysit.

With all of that going on in my head/heart, I also find myself wanting to get things done. I want to paint things. I want to clean out things. I want to purge stuff. I want to vacuum under the beds. I want to dust the window sills. I want to organize our school year. I want do this ... I want to do that ...

It's a process. I was just thinking about last summer. How I couldn't drag myself out of bed before 10. Sad to say but the school year was like that too. My heart was so heavy. The yoke of perfectionism hung so heavy around my neck that most days I couldn't do anything. I begged God to change me. I would set my alarm for 6, then 6:30, then 6:50, then 7 ... each day I would wake up, look at the time and realize my failure. We were so unorganized. Nothing ever was taken care of. Sure the house was straightened. Laundry was done. But my boys were fending for themselves on most days. School? What school. We did a lot of hitting and missing. By the true grace of God they did very well on their end of year review.

So often I would pray that God would grow me up. "I'm so immature" is what I would begin and end every prayer with. My question to Him was often "What is wrong with me?". Then one day I realized something. Nothing. Nothing was wrong with me. I was just in the middle. I was in the process of maturing. Growing up. That in between stage of letting go of the old but not having a complete hold on the new.

This summer something happened. My internal clock set its alarm. For almost a month I have been up by 7:30. 8 o'clock the latest. I have gotten more intentional quiet time with God. Which has just be wonderful. I notice that I am not as flustered through the day. After about a week of getting up early I wasn't tired in the middle of the day anymore. I'm actually tired around 9 at night. LOL Who would have thought?!

I am so thankful for God's grace and mercy. I am really looking forward to the rest of the summer. I'm excited about football season and school starting. Things are starting to smooth out a bit. There are still somethings that I'm not sure about. Like a true schedule for our days. I'm thinking about selling Mary Kay. Bo is wanting to branch out a bit with our business. I really want to get involved in a Life Group. Things like that but I know that God is and will be there for me. I've aligned myself to His will and He will take care of the details.

There is peace and rest in my spirit.

I found a great site!!

2008-07-21T18:35:00.003-04:00

So, the past few years I have really gotten into reading. I am eating up books and I am so happy. My struggle though is that I am kind of picky about what I will read. I want Christian mystery and/or history fiction. I don't want romance. I don't want secular. I don't want sci-fi. I don't want cult or occult. Let me tell you that it's not always easy. I wish the library just had a sectioned titled "Christian Fiction". Then I could skim the shelves for hours. But they don't so I am left to Google.
While I was googling :) I found this site Focus on Fiction. It gives you a list of reviewed fiction books by christian authors. There are interviews from the authors too. I have already found a book I want to read. Click HERE for the review. :) It's on hold at the library near my house. I can't wait for it to come in!!

What do you do?

2008-07-19T09:43:00.002-04:00

What do you do when you have done all you can do?

Do you give up?

Do you do more?

Do you pout?

Do you blame others?

Or do you hold onto the promises of God?

I've been sitting here catching up on some blogs ... (homeschool blog)

2008-07-16T15:23:00.005-04:00

I've been sitting here catching up on some blogs. Lately my heart has been away from the computer. Imagine that? Like most of us moms we have turned away from the TV just to be in another stronghold ... the Internet! Oh well, that is another post.

As you would imagine some of the posts I have been reading are homeschool blogs. Which, now that it is spring, has a lot to do with the P word. Moms all around the world are planning for the next school year. Not me of course but I've been reading.Actually I am a bit excited about it. I believe God for the breakthroughs that I need. I'm believing God when He says He knows what He is doing. I'm believing God that He called us to this. God has been so gracious and merciful over the last five years.

My life, like most of us, have not been all about homeschoolin'. We started homeschooling in the fall of 2003. That summer (of '03) God took me on a journey of cleaning out my heart and becoming the woman/wife/mother He called me to be. In December of 03 we started our business.Each of those things require a lot of prayer. A lot of attention. A lot of time.

I know that I will never be called to stop laboring (in much prayer) over each of those things, however I do believe God is shifting my priorities a bit. Being His daughter will always be number one but now I have a routine of getting in His Word, seeking His face. My heart is healing from many things and I am walking in victory in a lot of areas. Glory! Same with our business. God has blessed us with a very successful business. Bo is very business savvy. He is a great people person. He is very wise. I am so proud of him. God has truly blessed him with some great talent. Not to mention he is a man who is not afraid of hard labor. He thrives on it. He is the kind of guy who will never really retire. Not because of money but because he believes he will die if his hands aren't dirty. He blesses my soul.

Anyway, back to school. God has truly blessed me with it. Our years have been mostly playing around and hanging out with some lessons here and there, or so it seems. I really wouldn't trade it for the world. Not even when my boys scream that they hate each other or tell strangers that they can't read. They can, trust me they can. I wouldn't trade the easy going mornings. The rainy days of snuggling on the couch. I wouldn't give up the many trips to the library. I would give up the library fines. :) I wouldn't trade the ability to stop everything just so we could go outside and admire our neighbor's tree blooming. I wouldn't trade the fact that our mail man knows each boy by name. I wouldn't trade the innocence of my boys. I wouldn't trade the impromptu lunches at Applebee's. God is good.

As this school year is ending I have a sense in my spirit that God is stretching me again. I know next school year will be more focused on academics. I know I will really deal with some dying to my flesh. I'm ready. God is a good God. He is kind and helpful. If He has called me to it then I know He has made a way for it. I count it a joy and an honor to serve Him.

If you would like to read the articles that inspired this rambling, you can go here and here.

*originally posted on 4/16/08

You think me? Really? (Homeschool blog)

2008-07-15T15:41:00.004-04:00

I am going to our state's homeschool convention! I am besides myself happy. For a brief moment I thought one of my dearest friends would join me. To be honest I had mixed feelings. LOL It's okay, she understands.

I'm actually going solo. Oh yes, you read that right. Alone. Me, myself and I. Well, okay, human wise I will be alone but God's coming too. Glory! I am so looking forward to some one on one time, apart from dirty dishes and fightin' boys. I will be gone for two nights and three days. Did I mention I will be alone? Yes, I am still going to go to the actual convention. LOL You silly people.

Here are my thoughts about the whole trip. I plan on absorbing all that I can and taking every free sample that I can. Then I plan on going back to my hotel room, laying everything out on the second bed and pouring over them in prayer. Plus I plan on having real quiet time with God. Of course fresh coffee at all times. :) I plan on leaving my clothes out and not worrying about someone moving my socks. I can't wait.

The convention has 6 workshops. Of course I picked out 13 or 14 different ones I wanted to go to. I felt God telling me to ask Bo. So I did. I gathered all my information and presented it to him. Cause that is what I do. I like to have all my ducks in a row. Anyway, I gave him the deadline of June 4. That is when I leave. Before he left for his trip this week he asked me to come into the office. I figured he was going to go over our monthly bills. Which he always does around the first five days of the month. We get the calender out and discuss up coming field trips, doctor visits and any mom night outs. Anyway, besides the point. So I head into the office with my coffee cup ready to go over everything. When I sit down I notice he has the paper I gave him two weeks ago in his hand. He said that he was ready to go over the workshops he feels I would benefit from. I was shocked. I quickly grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil. He then started telling me the different speakers he felt I should try to get to. The workshops are first come first serve so I may not be able to get to all the ones I want. I notice a theme among the workshops. I guess he must of seen that on my face or (and probably the truth) God heard my heart questioning it because Bo then began to explain his choices. He said, "I can see you leading a support group for homeschool moms. I think that you should take advantage of all the things that deal with the leadership aspect of it. Learn some tips, broaden your area of expertise." I was shocked. You think me? Really?

Every time I think about his words, the sincerity in his voice my heart flutters. To think that my man thinks that I can do something like this is wonderful.Part of my flesh was like "have you known me long?" but the other part, my spirit, knew that he had heard something from God. In the past few years God and I have talked about this type of thing. Not really for 'homeschoolin' but other things like that. I have lead a few small groups. Two with my husband and one by myself. I love it.

So I am very curious to see where God is taking me. What a ride! What a journey! What an arrival! He is good! Glory!

*originally posted 5/10/08

The results are in (homeschool blog)

2008-07-14T13:18:00.003-04:00

We received the boys' test results. All of them did so well. I'm proud. :) I had no doubts.

It's funny because we have never been the type of parents that did not share things with them. I mean sure there are some things we don't share but their test scores are certainly not one of them. They know that if they fall below a certain number then we would have to work really hard for a few weeks to get the scores back up before I submitted them to the city. So needless to say that we are all curious to see how everyone did. Plus they enjoy the accolades from Daddy on a job well done. Well, I was reading posts from my Yahoo group. You would be surprise the number of parents who do not share the results other then to say "You did fine". I was a little bit shocked. To each is to own, really. I just didn't think about it.

We've home schooled the whole "school years". So my kiddos have never gotten report cards or progress reports. There are no real grades. They either know the material and we move on or they don't and we hang out in it until they do. If for some reason they are still struggling and I'm tired of it then we move on. :) Usually they figure it out once they are applying it in a different area. Anyway, that is just what we do around here.I'm glad we can officially close our school year. I'll get those results mailed out by August 1st. Why not sooner? Well, cause that's how I am. I tend to put things off. :) It's nice to be able to go to the convention without wondering what the actual scores were.

Good-bye school year 07/08.

Good-bye 4th grade. Good-bye 3rd grade. Good-bye 1st grade.

*originally posted June 3, 2008

Giving fair warning :)

2008-07-13T08:51:00.003-04:00

The next few days I am going over my homeschool blog. I will be posting the ones that I don't feel like losing. So you, who visit both, may just wanna skip over them. I should be done by Tuesday.

Now consider yourself warned! :)

Make the list, check it twice

2008-07-09T14:03:00.002-04:00

I know that I am a bit hormonal this week. I think that is why I am on freak out mode. You know what I'm talking about. My thoughts are consumed with what I think needs to be done, what I would like to have done and all other thoughts. I'm not happy but I'm not sad. I'm frustrated yet relaxed.

Chip away.

That's Bo's advice. Make a list and start chipping away at it.

Isn't he smart? I should make a list. I'm always making a list though. I'm always writing down my thoughts. Just to turn around and not have anything accomplished. I drive myself nuts. Honestly, I do.

Three of my sweetest girlfriends and I have started a Bible study this July. In fact today the first post is due. We're doing it in a blog format. Anyway, I started to journal my thoughts as I read our first book. I wrote the verse and what it spoke to me. Short and sweet. My everyday lists are the same. Short and sweet. It's my life changing lists that overwhelm me. Not the change or chore needed to be done but the process in which I do them or think they need to be done. Does that make sense? I'm not an executor. I'm a planner. I see the vision but have no idea how to get there. I should hire a team. LOL Wouldn't that be lovely?

So anyway, I'm in the kitchen washing dishes and sort of gripping in my spirit about the toys that need to be cleaned out. Fussing about the test results that need to be sent and so on. In that moment God spoke to me. He said that I should make my list but keep it short and sweet. Write out what I want like 'Clean/organize boys' rooms' but don't write the day/time or how. Just write it down and allow God to tell me the day/time and how. Give Him my list and stop freaking out over the details.

Isn't it hard? Isn't it hard to surrender all the time over every little thing? But that is exactly what He tells us to do.

Cast your cares ... be anxious for nothing ... pray without ceasing ...

Yes, He wants us to have a goal, a plan but He doesn't want those things to become a stronghold that keeps us up at night or keeps us tightly wound up. His grace is sufficient. He has just what I need just when I need it. It is perfect for me and for my situation.

So tonight I am going to sit down with a good cup of coffee, a notebook and pen. I'm going to gather my thoughts, take them captive and hand them, with my list, over to my God. Then I will sit back, rest in His presence and listen.

Football is here!

2008-07-07T22:51:00.003-04:00

I am so excited. Football camp started today. It's three hours a day for five days. The official season starts August 1. My boys were so tired today. I am too. Football is such a passion for my boys. They are so focused. I'm a proud mama.

It was hot today. I don't even know what the temp will be tomorrow. I forgot sun screen, wore jeans and there was no shade in sight. My face and arms a bit red. Oh well.

I chatted the three hours away with one of the moms from Ryan's team last year. Ryan was happy to see his bud. We vowed to remember sunscreen, wear shorts and sit under a tree we spotted. She might even bring an umbrella if she can find it. Sweet! :)

This summer has been so wonderful.

GO KNIGHTS!