2/15/07

By George, I think I've got it!

Or at least I am pretty close. I can't tell you how long I have been praying that I could come up with some sort of schedule. I've never been one to handle a strict schedule. I don't want to schedule my laundry for only Tuesday mornings or schedule a time to read a book. However, I have felt my life/mind spinning out of control. I was getting nothing done while doing everything. Am I the only one who has gone through this? Man, it is hard. The whole year that I have been praying for a schedule, praying for some kind of clarity to my day. I had felt that God was telling me to give my day over to Him. To seek Him first and the rest will fall into place. O.K., so I did that but things still were not getting done. Like if I did the house work then I didn't do school. If I spent my day with school then I didn't get any house work done. There had to be a healthy, normal balance that would work for me. I kept praying. I kept seeking God first. Learning a lot on my journey to finding the right schedule for my family. Just nothing to do with a schedule. Or so I thought. Finally I asked God "What the heck am I suppose to be doing?!" ... "Why can't I figure this out?!" ... "Life is not this complicated!" ... "Women have been doing this for centuries!" He was silent. "Hello?! Are you gonna answer me?" One day He did. One day I was sitting at the computer playing online, Free Cell to be exact. Things needed to be done like packing for our move, snuggling with my sick boys (they all had a cold), making dinner, you name it. I had no energy. I was disappointed that I couldn't get done the stuff I needed to do. Of course I had played 5 or 6 games of Free Cell and won 4 or 5 games (just in case you were wondering :)). That was when God said something to me. He said "If you weren't so selfish with your time you would have time to do the things you 'need' to do." Excuse me ... What did you say? Ouch ... that hits deep. He was right. I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off (because I was lazy and selfish) complaining that I didn't have enough time when He had given me enough time. I just had not been a good steward of that time. It took me a few days of letting that sit before I repented. It was a mighty big pill to swallow. But let me tell you something! Since I have truly repented and truly gave my heart over to seeking Him first in ALL things, my days have been fruitful. I now have a schedule that I can work with. I'm still fine tuning it. Monday will be our first 'official' day with it but I am confident that it is the right schedule for me and my family. I am very excited. I'm feeling very free. Even though I haven't started the official schedule we are getting things done in a timely manner and at the end of the day I don't feel bad that something didn't get done. Glory!
Now, in a few weeks I am off to tackle my weight! :)

2 comments:

bree said...

Ohh-I was praying for forgiveness for the same today-our Father is so dear-Praise you Lord for your grace and mercy on us! Amen! Hugs to you:)

Terri said...

I tell you what Bree ... If I didn't have to worry about me, I'd be alright! :)
His grace and mercy never fails!