It has been a long time since I have been here ... Here meaning not just on this blog but in this state of spiritual weakness.
When my husband left I immediately ran to Christ. I don't think I have ever been stronger, spiritually speaking, as that year or so. I laid before God on behalf of myself, Bo, the boys, his girlfriend, her family and our friends (they just about struggled with it as much as the boys and I did!) It seemed like I never left that prostrate position! I prayed literally like we are told, without ceasing, for healing, forgiveness, mercy, grace, and for God to move in such a powerful way in our lives. I didn't care how He did it or what it looked like.
God in His mercy did move. He did bring much healing and the like into the boys and my life. Is there still work to be done? You bet. It seems now that those prayers that were prayed with such a heavy heart and much tears have now moved into declaration prayers. I see God moving all the time. The only difference is that He has called me to take a more active part in the answers. May He be glorified! See before, He knew all I had to offer Him was a quiet Yes. Now He knows I can offer a Yes, Amen and I will!
What a difference two years make!
God brought me about six months ago to a place of rest. It has been glorious, truly. Around the Holiday Season of 2010 my heart was released from my marriage. I had fought hard. Not in worldly ways but on my knees in total surrender to my King. I had defeated by God's grace the Enemy that had come to kill, steal and destroy me. Like I said - after that hard fight God allowed a season of rest.
In this season of rest I don't think I have laughed any harder at any other time in my life. I have reconnected with some great friends. Went on two vacations, one with my precious boys and one on my own. I have continued to get healthy which has resulting in my now total weight loss of 41 pounds! I continue to be blessed beyond measure. I am humbled by this amazing season.
Here we are coming up to the Fall. A new season. I can see the Enemy's army on the horizon. I can hear him conspiring with his demons. I know what Satan's end time goal is for me and my sons. The Bible is clear in John 10:10, he comes to steal, kill and destroy (paraphrase mine). Well, all I can say is that I am sharpening my sword and being fitted with my armor (Ephesians 6:10-17)
I'm not saying that my knees won't knock from time to time. I'm not saying that I won't find myself questioning whether or not I can handle things. I know my knees will and I will question my ability but what I won't do is question God's ability. I will be like David - declaring before each battle "You come against me with the sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty" (1 Samuel 17:45)