Take the thoughts captive

2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 

It's always when I am at my weakest.  It's always when I can't muster up a smile on my face.  It's always when I have no motivation.

What is it, you ask.

It's the enemy.  He comes  in the name of self-reflection, pointing out where I have failed.  Where I am failing and how I may fail in the future.  He whispers past mistakes and roads not taken.  He reminds me of the roads I actually did walk down that lead me all away around the promise land.  Much like the Israelites.   He points out the difference between me and other moms, women and Christians.

Before I know it I am defending myself.  Sayings things like, "Well, I've always been a bit legalistic" or "I'm proud of the relationship I have with my children.". Even better, "I did the best I could."

The more the conversations go on the more I feel tired, defeated, and sad.  I can't see any real good thing in me.  I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I strain my eyes looking around for any redeeming quality about myself.

But then ... but then I remember who I am in Christ.  The beloved daughter of the Living King, joint heirs with Christ.  I am more than a conquer.  I am saved, redeemed.

So I must be careful, taking every thought captive.

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