Today is Easter and I am beyond thankful. I'm thankful for my Savior. He and I have been through a lot over the past 30 plus years. We've laughed, we've cried and through it all we've grown so close.
This Easter I find myself feeling a little different. Good Friday came and instead of feeling the weight of all my sin, I actually felt freedom. This feeling continued all through the weekend.
Lately God and I have been discussing having a sound mind. I used to worry myself silly over the "What ifs". Worry, worry, worry seemed to be all I knew how to do. Worry about my relationship with my sons. Worry about my finances. Worry about the boys relationship with one another. Worry over my mother. Just worry - worry - worry.
Oh I kept it under wraps. I didn't share my weight with anyone really. Maybe in passing or just in general I might mention something, usually passing it off as what everyone worries about. When the weight became too much to handle I would reach out to some friends for prayer. Of course I always took every care to Christ - but it was difficult to walk away. I hovered over Him while He worked things out, offering my advice. He was so patient with me.
I'm learning (and have come a long way if I may say so myself) to truly take every thought captive. To concern myself with the concerns of my Lord. Focusing on being the best Terri I can be. You know what? Everything is falling into place. There is such great healing with my kids. Healing within me. There is real belly laughter again in my home. There is respect, there is kindness and friendship again.
There is Joy.
There is Peace.
Back to this Easter Season - The reason I think is different is like I mentioned - Freedom. I have freedom in Christ. Free from my past bondage. Free from worry. Free from the "should". Free from any fear of the future.
Reflecting over the post tonight made me realize something - I do believe that this is the first Easter I didn't celebrate with the Devil. Meaning - there was no condemnation - nothing lacking - no heaviness - Just pure love, joy and freedom in Christ who yet while I was a sinner died for me and loves me so much that He has counts the numbers of hair on my head and sings songs over me. The One who wakes me with whispers of encouragement, laughs with me through out the day and sends me to sleep with a heart full of love and assurance that I am His.
Although we should never down play the Cross or the pure evil of our sins - we also don't have to be so beaten down by them that we miss the pure love of The Trinity.