Generational Curses

I recently had a conversation with my mom about generational curses.  We were discussing the various curses that not only our family, but others, face.  If you're not sure what I'm talking about here are some examples.

Alcoholism.
Divorce.
Anger.
Unforgiving.
Abuse in all forms.
Bitterness.
Deceit.
Poverty.
Drugs.

The list goes on.  Basically a generational curse is a behavior, thought process or perhaps an action that is repeated through out a family for multiple generations.  Simple enough.

It is a spiritual battle.  One that is fought on our knees in prayer, as well, on our feet in a strong stance against the schemes of the enemy.

Over the past years, I have stood beside God in battle over my life and my sons.  Mom and I were discussing the steps I have taken to ensure that the legacy I leave my boys is one of God-fearing love and strength.

During our discussion I thought back about how, with God's word, common sense and a no nonsense approach to life that there were curses broken.  One example of a curse broken was education.  My sons will be the first on their father's side to receive a high school diploma.  Another example is that my sons are the first in both mine and their father's side to have the same mother and father.  This is huge.

On the flip side I still passed to them a spirit of divorce.  That thought briefly entered my mind that day.  I quickly gave it to God and went on about my business.  I'm healed from the divorce and have raised my sons to know that marriage is a commitment and not one to be taken lightly.  I believe that when they are ready to get married they will be ready for the steadfast dedication it takes and by the grace of God will have picked an equal partner.  Only time will tell.

Later that day I took my son's dog for a walk.  We found a new neighborhood full of beautiful houses and pristine yards.  Nice cars in the driveway and neighbors chit chatting by their mail boxes.  A neighborhood that I would have loved to have raised my children in.  A decent, well kept, upper middle class neighborhood.

Usually when I find myself passing through an area like that it breaks my heart.  I wanted to raise my sons with a picket fence.  One where, not only all their needs were met but most of their wants were too.  I wanted the pool in the back yard.  Community picnics and yard sales.  I wanted the marriage of a life time, to raise my boys in a loving environment where both parents worked together for the benefit of the family.  I desired so greatly to have a room for each kid and a large recreation room where family game nights were played.

It may not seem like much especially if you are on the other side of that big, beautiful home but to me it was just about everything.

During that walk something happened.  Instead of crying, I remember taking a deep breath, scent of freshly cut grass filling my lungs and ... for the very first time ... in about 8 years ... I smiled.

There was not a shred of sadness, guilt, hurt, anger, defeat or brokenness.

Just a realization that maybe one day this will be the type of neighborhood my grandchildren will grow up in. Perhaps one day, I will be watching them run around the front yard catching fire flies.  I will be playing hide and seek all through the house while their mommy and daddy are getting ready for a date night.  Maybe we'll camp out in the back yard, eating S'mores.

The possibilities are endless.  The fact that I could be the last of my family line to have that brokenness ... That definitely makes me smile.  It reminds me of how faithful God is.

Your turn. What are some things you are breaking free from?  What areas in your life do you see from the previous generations that you don't want to see in the next?  It starts with one decision to do something different, to think something different, and to pray something different.

I have a friend that has recently gone through a divorce.  It is sad.  On all accounts. It's sad for him, her, the kids, extended family and friends.  I've watched her journey on Facebook because, well, that is where most of us share things now and to be honest, life is very busy.

She has been on my heart lately.  I, too, went through a divorce 7 years ago.  It truly is like a living death.  Just like death there are many stages of grieving.  Just like the grief of someone passing, you do have to go through all of it.   You can't skip steps.  You can't will steps away.  You can't ignore the steps.  You just have to go through them.

It's not that easy though, is it?  It's not enough to know the steps, recognize the steps or even force yourself to go through them quickly.

Each one deserves your attention.  Your time.  Grieving helps you grow.  To move forward and to heal.

It's really not easy without God and beling honest with yourself.

One thing I want to share is one of the things that helped me.  I think this might have been one of the biggest reasons I healed and am happy.

I prayed.

Not just the "God help me today" prayer but an honest prayer for him.

I prayed that God showed Himself mighty to my ex-husband.  That he would sense God moving in his life.  I prayed that God would bring other believers into his life to mentor and minister to him. I prayed for his relationship with his children. I prayed for his new relationship. I prayed for his relationship with his step children.  I prayed for his financial freedom.  I prayed that he would prosper in every area of his life.  I prayed for his health.  I prayed for his rest.  I prayed for his safety. 

Notice I didn't pray for him to come back to me?  I didn't pray for God to smite him.  I didn't pray God's wrath or for things to fall apart.

I didn't tattle on him, I just prayed.

I prayed blessings.  Not because I would benefit but because I truly cared about him.  Human to human.  Believer to the lost.  I knew that as much as it pained me to have him turn away, it grieved God more.

I know that by taking myself out of it and willing to stand in the gap for someone without any malicious brought upon a heaping dose of healing for me.

I encourage you today to pray.  Pray for that person that has hurt you.  You'd be amaze to see God not only move in their life but also in yours.

Take the thoughts captive

2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 


It's always when I am at my weakest.  It's always when I can't muster up a smile on my face.  It's always when I have no motivation.

What is it, you ask.

It's the enemy.  He comes  in the name of self-reflection, pointing out where I have failed.  Where I am failing and how I may fail in the future.  He whispers past mistakes and roads not taken.  He reminds me of the roads I actually did walk down that lead me all away around the promise land.  Much like the Israelites.   He points out the difference between me and other moms, women and Christians.

Before I know it I am defending myself.  Sayings things like, "Well, I've always been a bit legalistic" or "I'm proud of the relationship I have with my children.". Even better, "I did the best I could."

The more the conversations go on the more I feel tired, defeated, and sad.  I can't see any real good thing in me.  I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I strain my eyes looking around for any redeeming quality about myself.

But then ... but then I remember who I am in Christ.  The beloved daughter of the Living King, joint heirs with Christ.  I am more than a conquer.  I am saved, redeemed.

So I must be careful, taking every thought captive.

good times

Lately life has been too good.  I mean really, really good.  Scary good.  The kind of good that makes you almost check behind doors and every noise you think to yourself, "This may be the shoe dropping."  But it isn't.

The last seven or so years have been a time of grief, worry, anxiety, loss, gain, laughter, strength, weakness and all other sorts of feelings.  It's been extremely hard and yet extremely easily.  I have learned so much about myself and my God.  I realized that I am stronger in my faith and that my God is mightier than any situation or person I have faced.

Now I am in a season of strength and renewal.  There is complete peace in Christ.  I know that I know His word is a lamp unto my feet and light unto my path.  I know that I know I am joint heir in Christ. I know He loves my sons more than I ever could, He is the perfect parent and I am humbled He chose me to be their mom.

I have seen God move in ways that I can only look back at and say "that was all You".  Those moments where you have no idea how.  There was no way the bill would get paid or the child would be healed.  Those moments you cry out in your despair.  That deep cry that comes from your toes.  The sound unrecognizable to even yourself.  Yet, there comes a peace that floods in, surrounds you and covering every inch of your heart.  In that moment you know, you just know that God is with you.

In all things I trust Him.  Trust Him with my thoughts, heart and actions.  Some people thought I was crazy for my response to situations or problems but in keeping my heart humble and focusing on Him and His love for me, I have been able to rise above the noise.  Rise above the chaos.  In doing so I have been able to reap the benefits of all that God has for me and my sons.

I'm not naive, I know that my story doesn't end here.  I know that this journey is anything but far from over.  However the treasures I have gained are invaluable to me and I wouldn't change it for the world. 

I'm asking myself ...

Lately I have been challenged with the thoughts of my future.  Where do I see my self in a few months, maybe a year?  What about five years or a decade? 

Truthfully, I don't know. 

It's easy to say that I'll still be in my career or living in my area.  Is that true though?  Can I honestly say that I know?  Does that even really matter? Location, career, age ... are those the things I want to truly focus on?  

Seriously, does it matter if I still live in this townhouse?  Will the world be a better place because I've focused majority of my energy on job?  No, it doesn't. Nor should I. 

Some things are a means to an end.  I'm thankful I have a job, a career, that allows me to comfortably put a roof over me and my family's head.  I'm thankful that we have lived here for almost seven years.  Settled. Secure.  

My question to myself is really ... where will you be mentally, emotionally and spiritually? Will I be stagnate? Or will I have grown a little, a lot? 

Will I be emotionally immature in areas, allowing silly opinions to fester in my mind and heart?  Continuing to be judgmental in certain areas? Will I not stand for what is right because it's easier to look the other way?  

Will I finally have a meek and quiet spirit?  Will I be completely faithful, full of trust?  Willing and joyfully doing what I know needs to be done.  When situations arise or when the enemy comes creeping around, will I be on my guard; standing firm in the faith; being courageous; being strong as 1 Corinthians 16 states?  

I know this post is full of questions.  That is where I am right now. Questioning, searching and reasoning.  I think it's important to dial back the white noise of this world.  Take a look inside your heart and mind to the core of who you are.  Challenging yourself to grow and mature in areas that are lacking. Being accountable to yourself, God and those around you.  

There's a saying that pops up from time to time.  "Thrive, not just survive." It's a truthful statement.  Many times it is used to encourage people of abuse or to shake off the mentality of just living.  You know ... working, paying bills, worry, day in and day out.  I want to thrive and not just survive.  However for me it goes beyond any betrayal I've faced or any day to day living.  I want to thrive in my heart, in my relationship with my Savior, and in my personal relationships and in this world. 

I encourage everyone to take some time to look yourself in the mirror and ask, "Where do you see yourself?"

All

It's that time of year when I sit back and do some reflecting.  Who am I kidding?  This occurs about every three to four months.  However there is something different in the Fall.  It's like the beginning of my calendar year.  Fall has always been my season.  Fall is peaceful, hopeful.  I understand it's when Earth starts to slumber and things die off.  But for some reason it just speaks of new life to me.  

I've been thinking lately about my life.  This summer was so quiet, relaxing and peaceful.  No real drama. There were no sleepless nights, no pressing issues that had me ringing my hands with worry.  Sure, we had things that took up our prayer time but the actual worry ... that was gone.  

Each obstacle was faced with an assurance that God was in control, not me.  Each question was answered with whether or not I had any control.  If I did then I would do what was needed.  If not, then I would let it go.  

Something started to happen.  God moved in such mighty ways in my and the boys' lives.  At one point God completely removed me from a situation and used other people to accomplish His goal.  Can you believe that?!  God didn't "need" me to do anything other than give it to Him and back off.  

I shudder to think that I have control issues with God.  To be honest, I sometimes (if not often) do.  I know He requires my obedience and my willingness to do what needs to be done but He doesn't need my 14 different ways to handle things.  

I'm a planner.  I always will be.  I believe God is a God of order so no, I can't just "wait til we cross that bridge" because if you know a bridge may be coming and you believe that bridge is rickety then you should plan! However I am learning that you make plans, you set a course through prayer and praise but you have to let God move.  You have to listen to the Holy Spirit so that you can walk, sit, or run.   

Even writing this there is a struggle inside me.  Part of me wants you to know that I always listen to God.  I only move when He tells me.  That I am carefully listening to the direction of The Holy Spirit.  All those are true and if you know me then you know.  This isn't about what I do.  It's more about what I'm learning not to do.  

I'm learning not to lay out a ton of different ways to work out something and then tap my toes while I wait.  It's funny to me because I trust Him completely with the BIG things.  Finances, health, safety etc.  It's the little things.  It's the minor day to day things that I have way to many opinions about.  And that my friends is what I'm learning ... to let go of the control of the little things too.  

1 Peter 5:7a NIV says "Cast all your anxiety ..."  ALL not just the big stuff, not just the little stuff, not just the stuff I have no clue about, not just the stuff I don't want to deal with.  ALL. 

Webster's Dictionary defines all like this:  

• the whole, entire, total amount, quantity, or extent of:
• every member or part of:
• the whole number or sum of  

(Emphasis mine)


So there you have it ... I'm learning to cast all ...

This sermon has blessed my heart

I first found S.M. Lockridge during a Beth Moore conference.  I could sit and listen to him for hours.
I highly encourage you to check out his stuff.  Gotta love YouTube!

I wanted to share this sermon, he is funny and right on point!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOsXV3_D9ak