6/1/08

Holding on so tight

This post on the LPM blog just blessed me so tonight. I have a situation that I am worrying to death. Being analytical I have come at it from every angle. Being a skeptic I've seen every possible bad thing. This situation consumes me. It's on my mind when I wake and when I fall asleep. My mind drifts to it when I'm doing the laundry and when I'm playing with the boys. It has even invaded my quiet time. Not in a prayer sense but in a panic. I play tug of war with God over it all day. You know, the whole "It's mine. No You take it. No, it's mine. No You take it." I'm driving myself nuts. I've been very real and honest with God. I've told Him how I trust Him to always be there for me. Oh how I trust He is mighty. How I trust He will catch me. How He is my Rock and Refuge. Trusting Him to sustain me, to give me the grace is NOT my problem. It's the fact that I don't want to go through this. I don't want to suffer, to hurt, to cry, to ... loose. Oh I know that if I have Christ I have it all. Yes, that is so true. But some people on this earth are so very important to me. Through all of this stuff God keeps speaking to me "Meek and Quiet Terri. Meek and Quiet." S-T-R-E-T-C-H. Lord, He knows that I am not one who is quiet and not one for meekness. Today I felt His presence in the situation. Amazingly enough when I was quiet and meek, my spiritual eyes shot up to Heaven and I saw Him, Jesus, and all those who have gone on before me looking back at me. I felt the Holy Spirit say "I know, I know sweet one." Beth Moore's post is right. In it she talks about waving a red flag at Satan. Letting him know that we have put down our Shield of Faith. I don't want to put it down. I want to knock Satan in the head with it. Just being honest. Do you ever wish that you had a piece of armor that allowed you to knock some sense into people? I guess that is what the Holy Spirit is for. Of course if we had such a piece it would be our own version of 'common sense' not Christ's.
Christ I choose You. I'm taking my thoughts captive. I'm laying it all at Your sweet feet. I'm leaving here, the foot of the cross, empty handed but a heart full of God's mercy, grace, and love. All things do work out for those that love Him. Even if the middle is icky.
God bless all of you!

1 comment:

bree said...

I'm so glad to hear about Ryan-all is well:) From our sermon today at church, the pastor spoke about Acts 8, their persecution and having to flee. Then the pastor referenced back to the beginning of Acts where Jesus tells them they will "be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all of Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." Acts 1:7-8 Had they not been thrown in prison by Saul and had to flee their homes, they would have continued to build and grow their church...but only in Jerusalem. Our pastor shared a story of how he had a job of being a waiter which he couldn't stand while in college, and his youth pastor said to him, "God could have given you the perfect job but for some reason He has you here, right now." Our pastor said it was then he started to see and look around at what the Lord was doing and desiring from him at that place in that time. God has a plan right now, trust that He has the bigger picture. Trust that He is speaking to a heart that is hearing, and your prayers are lifting up that heart to hear and to be protected. Trust that through this, following in His steps, seeking His will, you'll come through and say, it was all worth it, as hard as it would be to say that now.
Ezekial 11:19-20
Psalm 37:4-5
Proverbs 16:9
Proverbs 20:24
"worship is a daily surrending of your life to His will" Bishop McBath (tonight, sunday pm)
Psalm 149-worship, worship, worship! fill your heart and home! "I will close my eyes to the enemy and open my eyes to God, I will magnify the King, I will worship! Worship will produce an unplanned response! It ain't so much how you get out but how you get through (speaking of Paul and Silas in prison and the unexpected earthquake after their praising and worshiping.) Worship and praise looses something, it shakes, looses, frees-AMEN! Worship ia daily discipline, practice, it looses and frees the chains. Get right crazy with the love of God!"
-McBath
Girl, are you excited?! Amen-He is working! He is working!
Love ya-praying with you!