This post on the LPM blog just blessed me so tonight. I have a situation that I am worrying to death. Being analytical I have come at it from every angle. Being a skeptic I've seen every possible bad thing. This situation consumes me. It's on my mind when I wake and when I fall asleep. My mind drifts to it when I'm doing the laundry and when I'm playing with the boys. It has even invaded my quiet time. Not in a prayer sense but in a panic. I play tug of war with God over it all day. You know, the whole "It's mine. No You take it. No, it's mine. No You take it." I'm driving myself nuts. I've been very real and honest with God. I've told Him how I trust Him to always be there for me. Oh how I trust He is mighty. How I trust He will catch me. How He is my Rock and Refuge. Trusting Him to sustain me, to give me the grace is NOT my problem. It's the fact that I don't want to go through this. I don't want to suffer, to hurt, to cry, to ... loose. Oh I know that if I have Christ I have it all. Yes, that is so true. But some people on this earth are so very important to me. Through all of this stuff God keeps speaking to me "Meek and Quiet Terri. Meek and Quiet." S-T-R-E-T-C-H. Lord, He knows that I am not one who is quiet and not one for meekness. Today I felt His presence in the situation. Amazingly enough when I was quiet and meek, my spiritual eyes shot up to Heaven and I saw Him, Jesus, and all those who have gone on before me looking back at me. I felt the Holy Spirit say "I know, I know sweet one." Beth Moore's post is right. In it she talks about waving a red flag at Satan. Letting him know that we have put down our Shield of Faith. I don't want to put it down. I want to knock Satan in the head with it. Just being honest. Do you ever wish that you had a piece of armor that allowed you to knock some sense into people? I guess that is what the Holy Spirit is for. Of course if we had such a piece it would be our own version of 'common sense' not Christ's.
Christ I choose You. I'm taking my thoughts captive. I'm laying it all at Your sweet feet. I'm leaving here, the foot of the cross, empty handed but a heart full of God's mercy, grace, and love. All things do work out for those that love Him. Even if the middle is icky.
God bless all of you!